I still love you (I promise)

Lucy

Tims story made sense.
So much sense.
It made her wonder why she hadn't thought of witness protection, why Angela hadn't, why nobody had.
It made her wonder if somebody knew. But It didn't make her less angry. Less angry with him, sure. Less angry with her whole situation? No.

But she didn't have time for a pity party. She was grateful for Tim. Grateful that he wanted to step up and be a Dad, grateful that it wasn't awkward to hold his hand. His touch, his words of affirmation. She didn't have it in her to be grateful either, all she could do was be afraid.

Afraid as Dr.Hills gently awoke Zoe, who stirred and let out a big cry when she saw the needles. "Mommy," she said, looking at Lucy. Lucy leaned forwards and planted a little kiss on Zoe's head.

"Hi baby girl, this is Dr.Hills. She's going to make you feel so much better,"

"Okay." Zoe turned to the doctor looking up at her with big blue eyes filled with tears. "Hi,"

"Hello sweetie! You see this funny thing in your arm?" She pointed to the IV.

"Yea. It bit me in the RA,"

Tim almost let out a little chuckle hearing her call the ambulance an RA, but he was too transfixed watching Lucy mothering in action.

"Ok sweetie, it's going to take some juice out of your arm, but i promise you it won't hurt at all!"

Zoe nodded, a big fat tear rolling down her face. A big pout on her lips. "Mommy I'm scared,"

"Yes you are." Lucy said, putting her hand in Zoe's. Who's whole hand wrapped around two of lucy's fingers. "What else?"

"I'm so brave," Zoe whispered, as Dr.Hills undid the nozzle on the tip of the IV. Switching out the fluids bag for a little tube.

"Hey Zoe I need you to squeeze your hand into a little fist ok? So that the juice spills,"

Zoe nodded, balling her tiny hand and then she saw the tube. "Hey that's not juice that's blood!" She yelled, about to start crying again, before Lucy squeezed her hand.

"What are you?"

"I'm so brave," she said, almost inaudibly.

"What was that? I can't hear you!"

"I'm so brave!" Zoe yelled, a little smile on her face as she let out a little laugh.

"Yes you are!" Dr.Hills said. Twisting the tip of the tube. "You are also all done! See that wasn't so bad, was it?"

"No," Zoe admitted, "but you are a lying liar who lies."

Tim let out a loud laugh, holding his hand up to his mouth. Zoe looked at him, and furrowed her little brows. "Hi cop," she said. Probably judging by his uniform.

Lucy turned and looked at him, judging his reaction. His face was unreadable, but then he gave her a huge smile. "Hi Zoe! Looks like your feeling better,"

"That is the antibiotics working!" Dr.Hills said, packing up her little cart. "Ok, I am going to go help other sick people. If you need some water, or to go pee pee press this little red button," She handed Zoe a tiny button attached to a little string. "Mom and Dad, this big red button behind her, on the wall, press this if she has another episode. Or if anything life threatening happens. If you do, a bunch of people will come running in, ok?

She stepped out of the room, and then it was just the three of them. "How are you feeling baby girl," Lucy asked, smoothing out Zoe's hair.

"Sleepy, and sad,"

"Uh oh, why are you sad?"

"Because your crying,"

"Oh." Lucy said, wiping a tear off her face. "I was crying because I was worried about you, but now i'm crying because i'm happy."

"Okay," Zoe said. "What about sleepy?"

"Oh, I can fix sleepy too," Lucy said, letting out a laugh and a little sigh. Zoe leaned back on the pillow, and got comfy "Close your eyes," Lucy instructed, and Zoe did. Sneaking a glance at Tim first.

"You holding mommy's hand," she said, looking right at where they'd been unknowingly clutching onto each other for support.

"I am holding your mommy's hand, good observation."
Zoe crinkled her brows in a way that indicated she didn't know what an observation was.

"Mommy do you like him?"

Lucy smirked, glancing at Tim playfully. "Eh. Sometimes," Zoe nodded, deeming this an appropriate answer, and closed her eyes.

"Sunshine," Zoe said, and Lucy nodded.

She began to sing, while she ran her nails gently through Zoe's hair. "You are my sunshine..."

Tim gulped when Lucy started singing, he'd forgotten how beautiful her voice was. She'd stopped after caleb, her song had died along with part of her in that barrel. She hadn't been the same. But now she was back, she was singing and smiling and even though she was stressed by the situation, she would sing for Zoe.

Tim was so proud and impressed, she never failed to surprise him. Lucy finished singing, and planted a kiss to Zoe's forehead. "Get some sleep baby girl, i'm right here,"

She leaned back, pulling her hand from Tim's to rub both hands over her forehead, and then through her hair. "Your rookie better not give me a fucking ticket,"

Tim chuckled. "He got in the shop all flustered because you called him boot."

Lucy laughed, and leaned over, resting her head on Tim's shoulder. He tilted his head on hers, and found his hand wrapped back up in hers. "I forgot nobody knows what a shop is. I actually think i had a stroke when I walked into my new station and everyone was calling it a 'beat'."

"I refuse to say it. It sounds gross,"

"Right? It's a shop, it's where you work."

"You don't beat the fucking car," 

They both laughed, and it felt amazing. Like old times, the good old days. Like no time had passed at all. No heartbreak had occurred between them. It seemed that in the time they'd spent apart, they had done a lot of healing. And now they were together, and he hoped they could be together for real again someday. "I missed you," she admitted.

"I missed you too," he twisted at the moonstone ring on her finger. "She's amazing Lucy."

Lucy smiled, "I know. She's the best girl ever, so I'm the best mom ever," Tim laughed, and then there was a beat of silence, and he let out a loud sigh.

"Lucy. I need to be a part of her life. There's no way I can continue on the way I was. Not now. Not now that I found you. Not now that I am a father."

She pulled back from him, offering him a tender look. "I know. But you need to promise me that it won't put her in danger. We are going to need to have another long talk, we're going to make some decisions. But I am not going to keep her from her father, I am not going to be like my mother. And i don't want her growing up with parents like we did. I am not going to be perfect, but I am trying."

Tim nodded, swallowing back his tears. "Thank you,"

"for doing my job, as a mom?"

Tim gave her a soft smile. And they spent the next eight hours in the hospital just trying to figure everything out.