Madagascar (Reader Insert)

Meeting Dave

Private: [Sees another button] Ooh, another one!

Skipper, Kowalski, Roberto and Rico: NO!

[They stop Private from pushing the button. Suddenly, drops of water comes down on the panel and on the flippers. The penguins look up.]

Dr. Octavius Brine: Naughty, naughty. Pretty birds belong in their cages.

[He is seen walking on the catwalk, but the camera shows that he is walking upside down. He drops down and his limbs are tangled up. The penguins groan in disgust. The scientist gets himself in that tangled position and screws his head right.]

Penguins: Ew!

Dr. Octavius Brine: Now, that's just hurtful. [Untangles himself] And I was so happy to see you again, Skipper, [Skipper gasps] Kowalski, Rico, his talking twin Roberto, and sweet little Private. [Flicks Private's beak] Boop!

Roberto: Who are you?

Dr. Octavius Brine: The humans know me as Dr. Octavius Brine. Renowned geneticist, cheese enthusiast, and frequent donor to NPR pledge drives. But you know me by a different much older name. A name perhaps you'd hoped you'd never hear again. A phantom! A shadow of a former life! I am

[A purple octopus emerges from the costume of Dr. Brine.]

Dave: Dave!

[The penguins gave long surprised looks at Dave with the Dr. Brine hairpiece on his head.]

Skipper: Kowalski?

Kowalski: Sorry, sir. No clue.

Dave: [Takes off the hairpiece] Dave!!!

Kowalski: Dave...

Dave: Dave.

Skipper: Dave?

Dave: Dave.

Roberto: Dave.

Dave: Dave.

Private: Dave.

Dave: Dave!

Rico: [Gibberish]

[Dave gives a confused look. A cricket chirp is heard. The penguins look to see a cricket doing the chirp, who then stops.]

Cricket: Sorry. [Leaves then stops and turns] Wait, wait. Uh, I live this way. [Leaves]

Skipper: Go ahead, Dan, continue.

Dave: You seriously don't remember me?

Skipper: Dave! Dave! Right! Oh yeah, long time. Uh, how's the wife?

[In response, Dave punches the wall above Skipper's head.]

Dave: I've never been married! You may not remember me, but I could never forget you. [Grabs a snow globe and shakes it] Let's shake up some old memories. New York City. The Central Park Zoo. Life was good. Roomy tank, great location, monkey-house views. And, of course... my adoring legion of fans.

Girl: Cool.

Dave: Dave! The octopus of a thousand tricks.

Boy: Awesome!

Dave: I was the total package.

Girl: Wow.

Man: Hey, kids! You got to see this. Get up here quick!

Woman: Come on, kids. Come on...

Dave: And then you arrived.

Man: Oh, they're so adorable!

Skipper: Just smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave.

Dave: And took everything from me.

Woman: They're so cute!

Girl: They're so adorable.

Woman: Have you ever seen anything cuter?

Dave: Four adorable baby penguins. With you around, no one wanted an old octopus anymore. "Out you go, Dave." And so it went, over and over, at zoo after aquarium.

Roberto: Well I wasn't there in the zoo.

Dave: Of course you weren't there Roberto. Duh!

Kid: Dad, look!

Man: I can't see the penguins, man! Whoo yeah!

Dave: Adorable penguins stole the show. While I was shunned. Forgotten. Unwanted. Alone.

Private: That sounds awful.

Dave: Oh, it was. I came to realize some creatures are born to get all the love. The rest of us get nothing! The only thing that has kept me going all these years is my burning thirst for revenge! And my precious souvenir snow globe collection.

[Rico swallows the rest of Dave's snow globe collection.]

Dave: Ah! What is wrong with you?!

Skipper: Oh, Daryl, Daryl, Daryl, you can't blame us for what happened to you.

Dave: Uh, can. That's how this whole revenge thing works. And with this, I finally have the power to destroy you. [Shows the serum]

Private: Crikey!

Skipper: I've got some bad news for you, Dennis. You messed with the wrong birds. Because we are an elite unit, the best of the best. Cream of the corn on a platinum cob. And we're gonna take your deadly green goop and sashay right out the exit hatch.

Dave: And just how are you going to do that?

Skipper: Deploy secret weapon.

Dave: The cheese, it burns!

Roberto: Were out of here!

Dave: After them!

[The penguins starts running towards the hatch as they open it and gets out of Dave's sub.]