Madagascar (Reader Insert)

Dave's Plan

Skipper: Nice doggy door.

Private: Wow. Look at this.

Skipper: Well, well, well. Not a bad place you got here, Classified.

Classified: Thank you. That's not my name.

Roberto: You think.

Announcer: Arrival at pad 17.

Classified: All right, tiny penguins, the best way for the North Wind to protect helpless animals like yourselves is to bring Dr. Brine to justice. Now, you were inside his sub, so I need to know everything you know.

Skipper: Yee-hoo!

Kowalski: Ha-ha!

Private: Whee!

Penguins: Hey!

Roberto: [Grunts while facepalming]

Classified: Just tell me everything you know.

Skipper: All right. Numero uno: Never trust a Dutchman in a tulip fight.

Classified: Tulip fight...

Skipper: Canada is secretly training an army of Sasquatch.

Classified: Sasquatch…

Skipper: Hot dogs are, in fact, only 17 percent actual dog.

Roberto: 17 percent…

Classified: Not "everything" everything. Just... everything regarding your abduction by Dr. Octavius Brine.

Skipper: Ah. Why didn't you say so?

Classified: What?

Skipper: My team has uncovered that Dr. Octavius Brine is actually an individual known as Derek.

Kowalski: Dave.

Skipper: As Dave the octopus.

Short Fuse: An octopus? No. Dr. Brine is not an octopus. He is...

Classified: An octopus. Precisely. That's exactly what our intel indicated. [Whisper] Release the sheep.

[A sheep is kicked out of a North Wind barn.]

Classified: What you, of course, could not know is that Dr. Brine's laboratory in Venice is secretly developing a doomsday weapon called the "Medusa Serum."

Skipper: Ah, but what you don't know is that Dirk...

Kowalski: Dave.

Skipper: Dave won't be using his Bazooka Serum...

Kowalski: Medusa Serum.

Skipper: Medusa Serum on anybody.

Kowalski: That part is accurate.

Skipper: Show him, Rico.

[Rico spits out the vial containing the Medusa Serum and one of the mini drones.]

Classified: [Shocked] You... you stole the Medusa Serum.

Skipper: Well, stole the serum, saved the day, did your job for you. Call it what you will.

[Suddenly, the screen goes on, revealing Dave.]

Skipper: Debbie!

Kowalski: Dave.

Skipper: Dave!

Corporal: He hacked into our system.

[There's no sound on-screen as Dave speaks.]

Eva: Where's the sound?

Roberto: Dave, your microphone, it's not on.

Classified: Click on the button with the picture of the microphone.