Stay Strong for Me (Austin Mahone Love Story / Fan Fiction)

Chapter 16: I, Courtney Anderson, am actually crying.

Chapter 16: I, Courtney Anderson, am actually crying~

 Sometimes I get this feeling where I think everything will finally be okay. I think things are finally getting better and I could be happy. Sometimes, I even almost feel happy. I think if I don’t talk about things I will somehow forget. I think all my problems will just go away. I think I can close my eyes and when I open them, I won’t see the frightening reality that is my life.

But then when I do open eyes, I realize I need to stop playing pretend.

Who am I kidding? This my life. Nothing ever goes right in my life. Not anymore. I need to stop expecting things to just change. It doesn’t work that way. Not for me.

I guess this is me giving up, losing hope, on ever being truly happy. I don’t know. I’m just…done.

Honestly, what else could go wrong?

I am currently sitting in the hospital, probably waiting to lose yet another parent. The only parent I have left.

To be honest, I shouldn’t care about him. He’s been anything but a father for the last two years. He hasn’t spoken a word to me or my brother since I was thirteen. He’s a sad excuse for a father figure and I know it. I should hate him. I shouldn’t care what happens to him.

But like the idiot I am, I care. I am sitting here shaking, praying, he won’t die. I’m scared of losing him. I’m scared I won’t wake up tomorrow and find him wasted on the bathroom floor. I’m scared I won’t come home at night and hear him swearing and breaking glasses. I’m scared I won’t ever see him again.

I scared because even after all the shit he put me through, I still fucking love him.

And that makes me the biggest idiot in the entire world.

Asshole or not, at the end of the day, he’s still my father.

Just then, I see my aunt enter the waiting room. Connor was following close behind her, all smiles as he probably has no idea what’s going.

 

Ignorance is bliss.

“Courtney,” my aunt says as she wraps her arms around me, engulfing me into a hug, “Have they told you anything?”

“Not a single thing,” I reply honestly as I hug her back.

The expression on her face told me she was worried. I don’t blame her; I probably looked the exact same way.

Even though she may not agree with my father’s lifestyle choices over the past two years, I could tell she still cares about what happens to her brother-in-law.

“Hi, Austin,” she breathed and hugged him as well.

Honestly, I was too busy worrying about my father that I forgot Austin was even in the room.

Austin drove me to the hospital as soon as I got the phone call. Even though I told him he didn’t have to stay, he insisted. He said ‘he wanted to be here for me’.