Crimson Nightmares

Chapter Thirty-six

She's dead. She's dead. She's dead! I screamed to myself, unable to accept it. I had failed her. I had failed to protect her. I had failed to keep my promise. Tears streamed down my face as I stood in the middle of my apartment, surrounded by pills and wine. Her bellowed wine. I turned on the news, hoping to fill the empty space inside me. A blonde woman with a microphone was speaking. "Top of the hour, today is November 7 and we have some breaking news! A woman jumps out of a building after killing seventy-two FBI agents. Doctors are inspecting the body; let's talk to them now." The screen switched to a woman in a hospital next to a man in a white lab coat. "I'm and I'm at maple hospital lab and I'm here with doctor Hello sir, can you tell us what was weird about the woman?"

"There are three things. One is that she was a Crimson Nightmare, a type of demon or devil. She is also one of the partners in Kroviask, the feared crime partners. Last, she was pregnant; the child died when she fell. We are having trouble finding out how old the child-" I shut off the TV and chugged another bottle of wine. She was pregnant. Eliz was pregnant?

I stumbled to my bed and collapsed, tears mixing with the wine and pills. How could she have done this to me? How could she leave me now? I wanted to die. I wanted to join her. I wanted to be with her.

But something stopped me. A tiny, fragile thing. A life that should have been ours. I sat up, tears streaming down my face, and grabbed a picture of us from eight years ago. She looked so happy.

Eliz, Eliz, please just come home.

I opened another bottle of pills, scooped a handful, and swallowed them dry. Then I picked up another bottle of wine and did the same. I didn't want to live without you.As the drugs and alcohol began to take effect, my vision started to blur.

I couldn't focus on anything. But I knew she was still there. Somewhere. I couldn't feel her presence anymore, but she was alive; she had to be.

I stumbled to my feet, barely able to stand. I made my way to my car. The drive was a blur. I had no idea where I was going, but I just had to keep driving. I felt like I was chasing a ghost, trying to find her. My mind was a mess of memories and emotions. She was everything to me. We had been through so much together. I was swerving on the road and I could barely stay conesus.

I kept driving until I was on the bridge, which she loved so much. I chugged another bottle of wine, and my vision started to blue again; this time I couldn't feel anything.

I got out of the car and walked to the edge. The wind was blowing my hair, and I felt like I was floating. I looked down at the water, and for a brief moment, I thought I saw her face. But it was just a trick of the light. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"Elizabeth." I whispered her name, hoping she could hear me. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I failed you. I failed us. But I'm not giving up. I'm going to find you. I'm going to bring you home. I promise." I took another step forward, my heart racing. "Please, just come back to me. I need you."

Time seemed to stand still as I waited for some sort of sign, some indication that she was still alive, still out there somewhere. The wind picked up, whistling through the bridge, and for a brief moment, I thought I heard her voice calling out my name. But it was just the wind playing tricks on my grief-stricken mind. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to steady my shaking shoulders.

I felt a hand on my shoulder; it was Chuuya. "I'd thought you would be here. I haven't seen you for days."

"Leave."

He didn't say anything else; he just sighed and wrapped his arm around me. "Come on, let's get you home. You look like hell." He helped me up and slowly led me back to the car. As we drove through the empty streets, I tried to hold back the tears, but they just kept coming. Chuuya glanced over at me, his expression softening.

"You know, she's not gone forever. As long as you keep fighting and as long as you keep searching, there's always hope." His words were comforting, but they didn't make the ache in my chest any less intense. I knew he was right, but right now, it was all I could do to just get through the next hour and the next minute.

We arrived back at my apartment, and Chuuya helped me inside. He insisted on making me something to eat, but I could barely keep anything down. All I wanted to do was climb into bed and sleep for a thousand years. As I lay there, staring at the ceiling, I could feel the weight of my loss pressing down on me like a thousand tons of concrete. "I fixed her bike," he said. I didn't notice it until now, but he was crying too. A silent cry, full of sadness and anger. "You could have saved her."

"No," I whispered. "I couldn't." He didn't respond; he just kept cooking. "I want her bike."

"No, it's mine." He hissed.

I nodded, accepting his claim. I didn't have the strength to argue. I didn't have the strength to do much of anything. My body felt like lead, and my mind like a foggy haze. All I could think about was Elizabeth and the way she would laugh when we were together. The way she would light up when I told her I loved her. The way she smelled when she was in my arms. I closed my eyes, trying to push away the memories, but they were like a film reel running on an endless loop in my brain.

After a while, Chuuya brought me a plate of food. I forced myself to eat, even though my stomach was in knots. He sat down next to me on the couch, and we ate in silence. It was awkward and uncomfortable, but I was too exhausted to make small talk. I knew he was there for me, even if he didn't say anything. "You need to go back to the mafia."

"I don't want to."

"She would have wanted you too."

"You don't know that."

"I do."

I slammed an empty bottle of pills on the table. "She's not coming home tonight, and I just took my very last pill."

"Come back to the mafia."

"Fine. I'll go tomorrow."

He got up and placed a letter on the counter, "She wanted out to have this." He opened the door and left. I got up and looked at the letter. I picked it up and sat down on the floor, leaning against the couch. I didn't want to read it, but I had to. I had to know what she wanted me to do and if she was happy with me. I unfolded the paper and began to read.

The words were perfect, but they seemed sad. She apologized for leaving me and for not being strong enough. She told me she was dead if I was reading this. She said that Chuuya got her bike, and I got everything else. She asked me to do what made me happy and to find someone who would make me smile as much as she did. She said that she would always be with me in my heart and that I should never forget her. She finished by saying that she loved me and would miss me every day.

I sat there for a long time, tears streaming down my face. Her words hurt, but at the same time, they comforted me. I knew she was right; I needed to move on to find happiness again. But how

Could I ever replace her? How could I ever find someone who could make me feel the way she did?