fairy tales for depressed adults

Death's love

I was basically just chilling at my place . Bored to death .... Literally huh... But then I heard child calling to me and I got curious.
I wasn't really prepared to see a small child, not older than 4-5 , just sobbing endlessly on bed. " Why did you call me little one ?" I asked and he practically jumped , startled. With confusion all over his face he told me about his dad. Apparently he just died and this little one wanted to see him. I tried to tell him that he's with me and that I can't take him there yet. But he was relentlessly pleading anyway. So I put my hand on his head, slowly caressing his hair. He stopped and just leaned more into my hand. It made me sad and glad at the same time looking at him enjoying my touch. Then he asked me if I could at least stay with him. Which made me chuckle a little until he said I made him feel safe. That's just too sad , doesn't this kid have anyone else ? He has to have a mother? How's that she doesn't make him feel safe ? So even tho I knew it's not a good idea I agreed . Tucking him into a blanket telling him not to worry. I was still petting his hair when he finally fell asleep. I stayed little longer wondering what is it about this little creature that pulls me to him . Making me want to care about him . Making me want to save him.
It wasn't until few years later when I realized there's nothing I could do to actually help.

From the first time I would spent all my free time silently watching over him at nights. Making sure he wasn't crying or screaming from nightmares. But he never woke up so I was sure he wasn't aware of me. Which was probably for the better.
Until he called me once again. Now he was nine and he stupidly tried to take his own life. But since he was still a child it wasn't anything good sleep wouldn't cure. Although his light was slightly flickering. I didn't really paid attention to it back then tho. Maybe if I did things wouldn't end up how they did.
He was waiting for me patiently just to tell me he knows who I am. That he wants me to take him... Again I had to tell him it's not his time. I chuckled when he told me his mother would kill him anyway. So I was right his mother surely sucks. But she won't kill him I'm sure of that . So I told him . We were almost fighting about it until he heard me say that I'm always here waiting. Can't say I actually expected him to know but still. He finally apologized when I told him I'm with him every night and thanked me. It almost made me blush . So I leaned closer to him petting his hair like always until he finally fell asleep. I wish I knew back then how much these nights , this little boy , will affect me. Or maybe I knew and just pushed it away. Because he was too precious to stay away. Because something was still pulling me his way

I continued to visit him every night but this time he would be awake. Waiting for me . Waiting for my touch. Waiting to finally have someone who listens. So I did. I would patiently listen to whatever was on his mind while holding him or just pet him like a child. Which with time he stopped being. He was slowly growing up while I stayed the same. When he turned twelve he started to cutting himself . And I just wanted to kiss the pain away. To take every hurtful thing out of his life. At this point I just needed him to be safe even tho I realized I can't do anything about it. All I could do was listen. To tell him time after time that I can't take him away. That he's not allowed to go with me just yet. I had to tell myself the same. And it was killing me. Watching him hurting. Watching him slowly fade away. I knew it's not his time yet but I also knew it's not gonna take long before it is. To me he was still the little child. My Little one. But our dynamic changed . He started to flirt with me to persuade me . And I let him. Sometimes flirting back chuckling at the weird situation. I didn't realized back then that his feelings were genuine. I didn't realized mine were too just little different. I was slowly falling for a human child . Child i was gonna end up killing

When he was sixteen we first visited limbo . Place between life and death. The moment I saw him there just laying on the bed , his light flickering more than usual. I just couldn't hold my tears. I wanted to kiss him , knowing it would be the last kiss of his short life. But I couldn't so instead I almost screamed at him why did he do something like this. Why he couldn't just talk to me? But that made him squirm and I hated that. I didn't want to hurt him more. I was just so frustrated. But then he called me D and oh gods it sounded so sweet . I couldn't help myself and chuckled. I ended up petting him again with one hand holding him close with other. Voicing my fear of him doing this again. Knowing pretty damn well it's unavoidable. He just nuzzled to me trying to be closer . Then he said he won't regret it when the light dies out. Which made me kind of happy and I hated myself for that. It was a selfish thought to want him dead with me. Ofcourse I wanted him alive and well ... But I knew he wasn't and that he's gonna die anyway. And if he's dead wouldn't it be easier to care for him to shelter him from anything bad? My head was spinning so I didn't even realized he fell asleep again.
We spent four days there most of the time he was the one who talked. I was just listening thinking about too many things at once. Like how did I fell for this little one . How I couldn't imagine day without him. But then he woke up at the hospital. And I couldn't visit him for a long time. Since others can't see me and it would look bad if someone saw him talking to himself. It was a terrible time but the worst was yet to come.

As I already said things were getting worse. He was in and out of limbo. When he was out I was trying to make him feel better. Listening and hugging him like always. And when he was in he let me cry into his chest. Trying to feel the warmth of his dying light. I hated myself for not being able to help him. I hated he wasn't comfortable enough to tell me about everything. Or maybe he just didn't want me to feel worse by telling me. But I knew either way. What kind of deity I would be if I didn't know what was happening to my human. My poor little one. It sounds harsh but I couldn't wait till he's finally dead . Because this was killing us both. Him being alive in a world that almost sounded being against him. Me watching him getting hurt again and again. I was in excruciating pain just imagining how hurt must he be. I wanted so much better for him. And I knew I could give him anything at my place. I already gave him my heart

He's almost twenty-five. As he would say the same age as me. Even tho it's just my appearance. I can see him getting worse day by day. Smiling ,not letting anyone but me know . It's finally happening. He's laying on that cursed bed again. The one I used to cry on while holding him till I almost crushed him. He's quietly letting me know that it's time. So I start to hum a melody. A song I wrote just for him
My lullaby.....

Shhhh, little one,
Don't let them know
Never let them see
Just keep smiling
Give me your hand
Dry your face clean
I'll be with you
You can stop fighting
Come closer
Give me a hug
Don't he afraid
Let me hold you
Everything will be okay
Just close your eyes
And let me take you away
One kiss
And it will be over
One kiss
And you'll never be older
So come with me
Don't keep me waiting
Your world is shaking
While mine is steady
See? You're finally ready
So come and kiss me

When I finish he surprises me with his response

"oh my lovely D
You're the only one
They can't see anything
My smile is just for you
As is my hand
These tears are from joy
From getting to be with you
As always
You're the only one I was fighting for
There's nothing holding me back
There's nothing to be afraid of
You'll take my pain
As I close my eyes
Letting you hold me
Taking me away
One kiss
And everything will start
One kiss
And we'll never be apart
So here I come
No more waiting
No more bloody painting
Just hold me tight
End this stupid fight
Here I come, kiss me"

I lean to him , cupping his adorable cheeks. Holding him while our lips finally find each other. His hands in my hair while the light dies. For a moment I forget everything else because this is all I ever wanted. He is all I ever needed and now he's actually mine. Mine to take care of . Mine to love.
He's thanking me and all I can think of is his soft lips and how I don't need to restrain myself anymore. So I kiss him again letting him know he's never gonna be alone anymore. Letting him know how much I love him