fairy tales for depressed adults

In the woods

I'm all and I'm nothing. I'm full of love and hate. I'm ragging, vibrating, dissolving. I'm everywhere and nowhere. I'm in the rain that washes everything. I'm in the fire that warms but also hurts . I'm in the trees and lakes and wind . But no one can see me. Not if I don't want them to and I don't. At least most of the time....

I'm walking through the woods at night, thinking. And as I walk around the lake I can hear someone singing. I try to get closer so I can hear better.

I wanna scream
And I wanna fight
This invisible force
That's taking me down
Every step I make
Gets harder and harder
So I stop for a minute
And punch the wall
In frustration
Because what else can I do
It's not like there's actual person
For me to punch
Beside from me
Why do I have to hurt myself
For hurting inside
Because of people that should've love me
Destroyed me instead
But outside I'm smiling
And I keep walking
On this path I didn't choose
This path that gets so lonely
This fuckin path I hate so much
Everytime I see the finish line
Someone pulls me back
Saying
"You're not done yet"
"We didn't have enough"
"You live for us, so you can't end it now"
I just want it to stop
I just want them to shut the hell up
I want these shackles to disappear with me

It's a young boy crumbling and shouting at no one . I didn't even notice that I'm crying with him untill I felt the tears on my lips. I can feel his pain and it's too much for me to handle. So I try to disappear but something is wrong. My powers doesn't work so I just turn around to walk away . But he must have noticed me " hey ! Who's there?" At first I want to ignore him and leave anyway . But something stops me , maybe the same thing that took my power.... So I walk to him " it's just me sorry if I scared you I was just passing by and heard something...." He looks at me with one eyebrow up " I'm not scared just surprised. I never met someone like you here at night . " Well that makes two of us little boy . " I'm here often and didn't met you either . What are you even doing here all alone?" He chuckles " I could ask you the same question.... I needed to calm down as you probably heard ." " Oh ... Yeah well I kind of live here . In the forest I mean...." Why the underworld am I stuttering. It's probably too long since I talked with human I guess. I'm not sure if I like how he looks at me though. Like as he sees through my disguise. To the human eye I should look like a twenty something year old guy with black hair and blue eyes . But under it I look more unnatural. My skin is glittering, ornaments sliding all over me. My eyes actually look more like galaxy and there are flowers rooting from my hair. But he couldn't see that right? " Yeah I could've guessed you live here . You really look like you do ." He's actually giggling . What the underworld?! Did he? Can he? Can he really see? " What ? .... What do you mean by that ? " I ask stuttering, again. " Oh nothing . Just that you don't look like someone who would enjoy human company." He chuckles and I can't take it anymore and red all over my face just run away. " Hey don't run . I wasn't making fun of you.... Okay then, I'll be back darling!" I hear him shouting at me but I don't look back. Too scared I would want to stay and talk more. What did just happen ? Oh gods why am I blushing? I'm a centuries old spirit how's that one little human made a mess of me ? I flew onto a nearest tree . Now my powers work , great, just great. I sit on a branch , looking under me . Just to be sure he didn't follow me. But I don't see him anywhere and it kind of makes me sad . Gods.... I shut my eyes and dissolve into the tree trying not to think about the boy with mesmerizing silver eyes and long wavy white hair. Yeah I'm definitely not thinking about him...

I'm still sleeping inside of the tree when I hear someone loud. " Darling ! Are you here?" And with that I fell ... Looking up I can see the boy from yesterday and .... Oh gods help me.... He's smiling at me " found ya" why the underworld my powers won't work around him. I'm blushing and just want the ground to swallow me. Literally. And I would do just that if he didn't somehow block my frickin powers... I finally stand on my feet looking at him looking at me. " What do you want? " I ask trying not to stutter. " Chill darling . Just wanted to talk .... Make sure I didn't scare you of yesterday ..." Great human scaring me of that sounds just great . Now is my time to chuckle " you didn't scare me of don't worry. I'm just not used to talking with people . But uh yeah.... What's your name anyway ? I'm Silva by the way so you don't have to call me darling .... Eh ." Gods really why am I so nervous around him ?! But that knowing smile and yeah those eyes that seems to see everything...." Forest huh? Yeah that suits you Darling. I'm Tempestas .... Yep storm, you see I was born on stormy night and my parents think they're funny. " Trying to ignore the fact that he called me darling again ... " It actually suits you too. You kind of remind me of storm." He laughs and I can feel the blood in my cheeks again. " I'll take that as a compliment from a mighty spirit. " He winks at me and " wait what? How? What?" This kid is killing me he just laughs , brushing of tears from those knowing eyes. So I was right he can see everything. This is no good . I start pacing thinking about running again. " Oh come on darling . Don't you dare run again. You don't have to worry I won't tell on you. It's not like anyone would listen to me anyway. I mostly just talk with fairies." At that he looks sad but shakes it away in an instant. " I just thought you might be lonely . Or maybe I was who knows ... So I was hoping we could be each other company ? What do you think darling ? " Oh fuck it even if I say no I'm pretty sure this storm would follow me anyway so I just nod hesitantly..... " Nice. By the way I'm pretty sure I already saw you. Tho I was little at the time . But yeah it was you at the lake few years back you were surrounded by fireflies. You looked beautiful.... Not that you don't now ..." Is he for real? Not only does he dare to speak casually to me when he knows what I am ... But... he's flirting? ... And what is worst it's ... Working.... I really need to know now " how could you see me then ? I'm ... Pretty sure I wasn't in human disguise back then .... And why ... How .... What can you actually see ? What's with those eyes of yours?" I don't know if I should laugh or cry but for the love of gods I just can't stop stuttering .... How mighty of me huh? And there he is chuckling again like a little kid ... Which to me he kinda is I mean he's probably at his twenties but haloooo I'm here for centuries.... " You just can't chill darling huh? To be honest I'm not sure what to tell you. But can we like sit somewhere? I'm getting tired of just standing here . After we sit I'll tell you what I know I swear ." I just nod and silently walk with him to the bench by lake .
We sit and I look a him waiting while he chuckles again. You'd though it would get annoying but it's actually really cute. " So yeah my eyes. I was born with them . At first they were all white so my parents thought I'm blind . But not only I'm not blind I could also see everything that normal people couldn't. As a child i was always playing with forest creatures . Back then I would talk about my adventures with dragons , fairies, dwarves or even unicorns . And people would think it's just my imagination since I was kid. But as I got older I was still seeing everything.... I got branded schizofrenic and that's kinda it. I never really figured out what I am . But I read a lot about your kind and well fairies love to talk.... My mother was actually the first to tell me everything I see is real . I kind of suspect my real father to be some kind of spirit or nymph but who knows. He died when I was too young to remember. So yeah ... Any other questions? " He finally looks at me this whole time it was like he's looking through everything... It made me sad listening to him . Seeing the little changes on his face . Indicating it was really painful and lonely childhood at least with humans... Not being able to show them you're not insane must have been hard for a child.... " How do you see me ? I mean I know how I look it's just except from other creatures no one ever saw me. Like real me ? So I was wondering .... Do you see everything ? " I want to ask about my powers but well maybe later. " Hmmm how do I see you ? Well I obviously see a very beautiful man..." He winks and I'm literally red all over . Which makes him laugh gods can I kill him ? " No sorry I mean you are beautiful but yeah to answer your question I do see the real you. It's kind of weird because I can also see your avatar. You see it's like there's two of you. That disguise you're trying to show me and the real you under it . I like the real you more tho so if you could stop hurting my eyes and discard the avatar I'd appreciate it darling." I didn't even have to do anything at the moment he said he wanted it gone I could feel it gone. Well that frickin scared me.... " I .... I think it's getting too late . Don't you have to ? I don't know be home or something ? " Here we go with the giggling again " you had enough of me darling? Okay then I'll leave you be. But I'll be back again. And maybe you could talk this time ? Or not I guess I can talk enough for both of us." He looks like he wants to hug me but stops himself. Then he stands up and waves at me with that sweet smile. And I'm melting . Literally .... I melt into the nearest tree still imagining those beautiful eyes.....