tell the world that i love you (FreenBecky )

Get back up

They canceled the event. The manager of their agency were the one who called off the event. They don't care if they have to give refund to the audience, what they care the most are the wellbeing of their artist. And the management don't want anything bad to happen to them. Regardless how many people are now start to hate Freen which can result on having bad name for a while, they will stand tall together and come clean.

Becky sighed in disappointment. Don't get her wrong, she's very relieved the agency took action to protect Freen but at the same time she felt it was not fair for the fans who came all the way from everywhere to see them. She loves their fan who always support her. But she have to accept whatever decision to protect people she loves.

She was sitting on the bench that was in front of the main stage. Looking around to see the crew cleaning up, taking off their poster of advertisement and other things.

She was in her own world when someone came and sat beside her. "You're brave." Becky startled.

"Oh my god, you nearly gave me a heart attack Irin." Irin laughed.

"Silly." Becky just glared at her annoyingly.

"Why you still here anyway?" Becky asked.

"Filling my free time by seeing your grumpy face." Becky grunted.

"Go away if you wanna make me feel annoyed." Irin laughed it off. She then lean her head on Becky's shoulder.

"You're great person Beck. I'm grateful  that you stood up for Freen just now."

"Nah it was nothing." Becky said.

Irin could felt that Becky was trying to calm herself. The way her breath, her tense shoulder, and just now she found Becky daydreaming alone. She know Becky actually felt very uncomfortable and upset with all the situation.

But Becky being Becky, always wanted to keep it all to herself. Even sometimes when she was with Freen, she still didn't tell anything that bothering her. That's how independent Becky is.  She doesn't want to hope for another person to be there for her.

"You can tell me anything Becky. I'll listen." Becky smiled.

"I have nothing to share for now. I just wish this day never existed."

"We can't turn back the time Beck, but we can ignore and move forward. That's what you always tell to all of us when we had our down time."

"You're right."

"We can't control what other people think or talk,  what we can do is try to adapt with the situation. If we have to walk away, then do that, if we can fight, then do that too. But if we don't know what to do, we can take a minute and think what is the best for us, don't think about others, just think about ourself." Becky nodded. What Irin said were true. They can't control what people wanted to say or think about them, the easiest way are to avoid or ignore them.

"Thankyou for saying that. I don't know I needed to hear them till you said that." Irin chuckled.

"My pleasure." They were in silent for a few minutes, giggling softly when some of the crew making a jokes about the place.

"Beck, can I ask you something?"

"You already did." Irin hit Becky's hand gently.

"I know it is not my business but I can't sit still knowing that for some reason that you're acting like- "

"Acting like what Irin, I am me."

"Exactly."

"I'm sorry that I am literally confused. Just straight to the point Irin."

"Like someone who lost their way."

"Huh?" Irin sighed.

"Oh my God Beck, do you love Freen?"

"Of course I love her. What kind of question that you asked."

"As in a lover Beck, not as a sister or friend."

"Irin, we talk about this. It's not a thing, me and her-"

"Your eyes can't lie Becky, I saw everything. How your face would lit up when Freen was near, the way you smile, they way you looked at her. Like your eyes showed the world how alive you are as a person. And now all I see is your sorrows through your eyes and heart."

"Irin-"

"You don't have to lie because I know and I saw everything." She saw Becky's eyes were filled with tears. Irin smiled sadly as she know what she said just now were the truth. She sneaked her arms around Becky's waist, hugging her.

"It's hurt isn't it?" Becky just nodded. She couldn't form any word to Irin.

"It's like being stabbed with a really sharp knife right through my heart again and again."  Becky pursed her lips, trying to hold the tears from falling down her face.

"I- she don't love me like that, Irin. Her loves for me are just like a younger sister and I have to respect that." Her voice cracked a bit.

"I can't do anything Irin, all I can do is support what she want in her life and I have to help her get back up again. Because I wanna see her smile, her laugh, her everything. I don't wanna see her sad Irin, it breaks me to see her like this. Even now, she can't stop crying and it literally fucking kill me. I can't help her to ease something in her heart or trauma that she had." Bitting her lips to stop the sobbing, she don't want to cause a scene. They're in the main hall, surrounding by the crews and people that are passing by.

"The fact that she was seeing someone and still keeping it secret from me, shows everything Irin. She loves him and she don't trust me that much. She may likes to show affection towards me but is it true? All the act of service she ever did, all the love words that came out from her mouth? Or is it just fan service or an act to cover her real agenda?" Becky really looked confused here. She don't know how to define everything anymore.

The way Freen act are always the same towards her. Whenever they were with people, or just the two of them, Freen still Freen. How you see it online or offline that's how Freen to Becky. So there is no way  Becky can control her own feelings when someone are giving her too much affection. Her feelings keep grow even stronger than before till she can't back down at this point. 

"I've been fooled with my own feelings and now it's hurting like hell. This kind of love never succeed Irin," Becky whispered.

"But it's okay, because I love her and what I want right now doesn't matter. She is matter. I'll always giving her a hand if she needs help in everyway, I will try to be more available in every situation because for me, the smile on her face is the most precious thing I wanna see every second that I have even what I am towards her right now and forever are just friend." Becky stood up, wiping her tears as she made her way to the exit door. Irin followed suit.

'You are one of a kind Beck. Freen sure are lucky to have someone that love her too much' Irin thought.