Jake and Johnnie

A letter to Him

Hey 

He knows who he is.

He was the one that made me smile. 

The one who encouraged me to write this book. He was that push to hit the publish button.

He said my writing was one of his favorites.

Told me I was handsome when I didn't really feel it myself. 

Said he liked me.

Well I like him to. 

We agreed to try being together even though we were so far away, even though we both had restrictions. We said fuck it let's try. 

The next day it fell apart. 

He said he didn't really feel it. Didn't realize how little we actually interacted.

What could I do but understand him.

I told him that I get it and we didn't have to continue.

I thought we'd still talk. 

One of the first things I told him was that I hated losing people. 

Now he's gone.

We bearly talked the next day. And the interaction we had I could feel the bad vibe. I ignored thinking it was just a little awkwardness on my end. 

The next day not a lick of dialogue was exchanged between us. I reached out but he never responded. 

Come to find he's blocked me. Not just on insta but on Wattpad too. He deleted the letter he wrote to me and totally cut me out.

So if you're reading this can u please tell me what I did wrong? I haven't slept thinking about all the possible things that I could have done. But I'm stuck. What did I do for u to complete let me go? 

I never meant to hurt you. I feel like someone ripped my heart out my chest looked at it and put it back a little crooked.

I'm not saying I loved him. I'm just saying it hurt to lose someone I thought was someone who would be around later in life.

But that's my fatal flaw: I trust to freely and forgive to fast. Every time. I'll never learn will I.

Love, Jay