Direction to the ass (Robert Fico X Peter Pellegrini)

To be or not to be? I'd rather not be

I slowly turned around to face it

he looked something in the eye. And that was my fatal mistake... There was a bear behind me. I don't know much about bears, but in all the manuals on how to survive in the wild, they always say that under no circumstances should you look them in the eye unless you want to fight them. The bear looked at me for a moment and then got on its back. I peed myself. Literally. Desperately, I began to rummage to see if I could find something in my jacket. All I found there was Fico's love letter from 2018, which was apparently addressed to me. I looked again at the bear, which began to approach me dangerously. I'd much rather be an avalanche. At least that would reduce the risk of the state in which I'd die - rumpled, in Fico's jacket that hadn't been washed in a year. Given that I didn't even wash myself in the morning during my dramatic departure, the remnants of Fico's performance could quite possibly be found in my ass.

I take back what I said this morning. Life is not nice sometimes, life is pretty shit and just when you think it could be at least a little bit nice, you get slapped in the face with such a slob that you can't even be surprised. But suddenly I noticed something. The bear stood still. Although he was on the back, he still stood there. Under normal circumstances, he would have eaten me long ago. But this one wanted to prolong my suffering as much as possible.

"What are you waiting for, you fat pile of hair? So finally fuck me!"

A thick mass of hair suddenly lifted its disgustingly large bangs up to where her head was. She took her head in the washing machine, took it off and... Oh wait.

"Well, wait! You are not a bear! You are Fico's wife! Svetlana, you cunt! I pissed my pants because of you!"

"Pelle, what the hell are you doing here?! Why are you climbing into the woods?!" Then I finally notice what he's wearing.,,Where the hell did you get Robert's suit?! Don't say that- you two-" And then it suddenly dawns on me. Five years ago, Robert promoted Pelle. I was wondering why all of a sudden. I'm running out of it now. All these years I thought it was some young secretary. At least that's what he wanted me to think. She fucks a guy instead. Five years. And I stupid cow tolerated him.

"Wait Svetlana, it's not what it looks like, it's not what you think!"

"Leave me alone! That you are not ashamed at all! You can have whoever you want, but you have to get a guy from the family!” I cried. Not with sadness, but with rage.

"Then what could we tell you?! Then what could we tell anyone?! What would people think of us, eh?!" Pelle was completely exhausted. So was he.

"That you're a pretty scumbag, a jerk and a buffoon in one person! And I'm leaving anyway! And you, little boy, pray. Because after this you won't even have a safe place in Robert's bed!"

Svetlana:

I had already suspected that Fico was cheating on me for some time that Friday. I knew it since he told me that he was just going to the Tatras for New Year's. My plan was clear, to dress up as a bear and wait to see if he and his lover went for a romantic walk. At least that's how we used to do it together. But instead of a lover, Pelle peeks out at me.

I sulked and walked away. My friend Pavel is coming to pick me up in a little while. He was the one who helped me with this whole idea. He even got me this costume. Let Pelle stand on his head there, for example. I'm not done yet.

Andrej Danko:

After talking to Fitz for about five minutes (he told me I had no business being there and then had security escort me out) I decided to take a walk through the woods and get some fresh mountain air. It was snowing, which I didn't mind, so I went. Since I was kicked out of the hotel before I could steal any booze, I had plenty of energy. After about a few kilometers, when it started to get dark, I wanted to turn around and go back. But suddenly I saw something dark in the snow. I walked closer to it and...

“JESUS ​​CHRIST PELLE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? YOU'RE TOTALLY FROZEN, BUT YOU CAN COME HERE TOO!”

"I'm not frozen, the warm urine warmed me." He replied with his head half buried in the snow.

"My God, you're a moron, the world didn't see that. Come on please, we're going back."

Pelle protested for a while, but given his condition, it was worth it. When I dragged him to the hotel (more like the hotel, they wouldn't let me in again), I noticed that he had a paper in his hand. So I called a colleague to drag him inside. While I was waiting, out of curiosity I took the paper from him and read it. He didn't care because he was almost asleep.

Dear Peter,

It's been four years since we met in your office. Four years and I'm still waiting. On you. To you, maybe it was just a silly kiss that you give to almost everyone as a greeting, but to me? Not for me. That kiss gave me a second life. That kiss was the reason why I started enjoying life again. That kiss was the reason I first believed in love. I'll never forget it. Whenever I close my eyes, all I see is the two of us, together. I love you, Peter Pellegrini. I love you with all my heart. I've done a lot of shit in my whole life, but if someone asked me if I'd change anything, I'd say no. Then I would never have met you. And that would be a huge shame. Whether you read this or not, I promise I will never forget you. Not even after death.

Your Robert

I stared at the letter like a calf at a new gate. Just at that moment, a colleague of his came. I quickly put the paper in his pocket, got into the car and drove home. It was almost night. I will definitely not sleep today.