Back to Reality

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October 16, 2023

Andrej Danko:

I woke up about an hour early this morning. Since I had nothing to do (like every politician), I went to enrich myself with some amazing knowledge on the Internet. I suddenly noticed that someone sent me an email five minutes ago.

Ing.pelle69ficod1ckdestroyer@gmail.com

Hi,

I just wanted to let you know that I'm going into a coalition with you. Just so you won't be surprised when Robert announces it today.

Pellegrini

Andrej.Dank0_luvsHarabin@gmail.com

Peter

next time you write to me, make sure you write from a work email and not from this one, which sounds like it was created by some troll who wants to scam pensioners. And anyway, where did you get this email address of mine?

Danko

Ing.pelle69ficod1ckdestroyer@gmail.com

Robert gave it to me lol. He says he doesn't use any other when communicating with you.

In addition to all this, I received a message from Robert.

Certified.pelle.lover@gmail.com

Andrei,

Peter asked me why I used this email to communicate with you. If you had given me a more professional email address, I wouldn't have had to text you through this shit.

Ing.pelle69ficod1ckdestroyer@gmail.com

The only reason Robert is pissed about your email addresses (I was looking over his shoulder as he wrote that) is because he doesn't know my private one, hahaha.

This ended all email conversations. I didn't even want to know what the two of them were up to at home and, most importantly, how long it would last before they broke up again. Oh well, I went to work. I didn't even count on seeing Harabin there, because the last time he was lying in bed with me after he had drunk all my homemade schnapps.

On my way to my office, I met Matovič, who was walking down the corridor. If I didn't get out of his way, he would probably knock me over.

Svetlana:

I woke up. I don't know where I am and I don't even know who I am. A guy in a white suit is standing next to me. He's probably a doctor. Anyway, I'm not sure, one can never be sure of anything. Surprisingly, one of the few things I remembered was my phone password. The phone was also the first thing I looked for right after waking up. Maybe I'll remember someone. I found several missed calls. They were all from a certain Igor. I tried to call him and he picked up.

"Svetlana? Is that you?" He sounded surprised. I don't know if he's my husband, boyfriend or brother. But I know one thing for sure, he cares about me.

"Igor? I woke up and... I don't know anything!"

"Don't worry, it will be fine! I'll be right there!" He put it down. Just then the guy in the white coat entered my room.

Igor Matovič:

I ran to the hospital. In the corridor, I met Danko, who was walking confidently through the means. If he hadn't swerved at the last moment, I would have knocked him to the ground, you moron. But I didn't have time for that. Now I needed to get to Svetlana as soon as possible.

If I'm there first and tell her my version of the whole story, she'll believe me. He will believe me so much that when Fico comes there, so... I don't even want to know what he will do. But if Fico comes at all, apparently he's got Pelle back, who's practically a demigod to him or something, so they're probably spending time in bed together right now. It's pretty disgusting when I think about it. After all, they are two guys, they have no business being in bed together.

I rushed to the hospital at a frantic pace. I managed to run a red light a few times and then almost hit a bunch of pensioners at a crosswalk. When I arrived at the hospital, I ran to Svetlana's room and there... Fico was right there with Pell. Fuck it.

Fico:

They called me from the hospital that Svetlana had woken up. We had better set off with Peter as soon as possible, maybe some Matovič-type delusion could appear there. I arrived at the hospital and went to see Svetlana, so we rather ran after her. Some people who had already been there since the morning had enough to yell at us that we were disgusting mafias and where are you? We finally reached Svetlana's room.

"Light!"

"Igor? And who is this?” She pointed at Peter.

"I'm not Igor, I'm Robert, your husband! We have a son together, don't you remember me?" Meanwhile, Peter was standing behind me. I preferred not to look at him.

"I really don't remember you. And who's over there?" Peter looked at me as if he needed help. I understood him, after all, it was he who brought Svetlana to this state, albeit unintentionally.

"I'm Peter and..." He walked closer to me and grabbed my hand. I swallowed hard, I have this crazy feeling that I know what Peter is going to say and I hope it doesn't get said.

“I'm Peter and I'm dating your husband.” He said it. Svetlana stared at us, making sure we weren't making fun of her.

"So... You are my husband. We have a son together and you're getting involved here with this Peter..." She pondered.

"In that case, who is that Igor?" Just as she finished saying that, "that Igor" burst open the door. We just stared at each other for a while.

"What the hell are you doing here?" shouted Igor.

“Who the hell is this again?” Svetlana was getting more and more confused and clearly pissed off.

"I'm Igor and these two mamlas-"

"They already introduced themselves to me." It was getting tough. Peter stared at me blankly, probably realizing what Svetlana had just said.

"So somebody tell me what the hell is going on here?!"

"What's happening here is that Igor and Peter and I have a very important meeting right now, which I happened to forget about. Fortunately, Igor was so kind that he came for us. We'll stop then." I waved to Svetlan and dragged the enraged Igor away. Since the demented man had arrived by car and in the meantime managed to successfully forget where he actually left him, we had to drive him back in the car. Peter heroically took on the role of security guard, which meant holding Igor in the back so that he doesn't try to create any spurs.

"You, Peter, say you prefer to be with any guy that comes your way."

"What are you doing?"

"Don't think that nobody here knows about your visits to gay clubs, bars and all those weird places where gays go to smoke five kilos of truckers."

"Igor, that's enough! Leave me alone!” I wanted to intervene in their discussion, but I might make it worse.

"Then what? Don't tell me it bothers you. I'm not saying anything that isn't true or not?" Peter was silent. In the meantime, Igor figured out that in my car you can use such a plate to separate the front from the rear. I have to praise him for his insight, Harabin only figured it out that time in the Tatras after two hours of driving I didn't hear their conversation anymore.

Skin:

Riding with Igor alone in the back wasn't exactly a great idea. Maybe we should have packed Svetlana from the hospital with him. Meanwhile, Igor grabbed my jacket.

"So I was right, you must be a terrible whore."

"Great, you already told me that. Do you have anything else in there?” I was getting nervous with him.

“So you don't mind if I lean you right here, right behind Fitz's back? You give to everyone, so why not to me?" I froze. This is the only thing that is mine

the organism can do in self-defense. I no longer wonder why Robert told me back then that I wouldn't survive alone in the real world. I'm totally shit.

You've reached the end of published parts.

⏰ Last updated: Sep 07 ⏰

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