Love Redefined

Chapter 23

After the party, everyone else had going back and left only the four of them, Tae who was sitting apposite to Bas, and Park and Lam who were taking a seat a few desk away from Tae and Bas, but with the silent night, they could hear just fine whatever Tae had to say.

Tae was starting with giving back the ring he took in a public proposal before, by putting it on the table in front of Bas. He then looking straight into Bas's confused eyes.

"Why are you giving this back to me, P'Tae?" Asking Bas, who was just staring at the ring and Tae one after another. 

 Tae was taking in deep breath and was gritting his teeth trying to gather all the energy he had left to face Bas. He was beyond shocked after what had happened tonight. He felt guilty he had to do this, after pretending accepting the proposal before. But he knew he had to do this. He really couldn't accept anyone else but Copter. He felt sorry, but this matter couldn't be forced. There's nothing will come out of this if this was based on forced feelings. He knew that, and he hope Bas too, understand that. He took in another deep breath before start talking.

"Bas, I'm sorry if I had misled you into thinking that I had a romantic feelings towards you, with the way I'm treating you. I didn't mean any of it that way. It's just.... was because, purely because that you were cute and you were alone, I symphatize with you and want to help you to lessen any burden a young guy like you had. I just.... I think I just wanted to treat you like a brother, so that people will not looked down on you. Never even crossed my mind that you will actually like me like that. I know you worked hard for tonight to happen, but I'm sorry. I really do. I couldn't reciprocate your feelings because I don't have the same feelings towards you. My heart, my heart already had its owner long before I knew you, so it wasn't that you lack in anything that I couldn't accept you. You are cute, you are a very hardworking young man, sweet and always respect people regardless of their age or status, and I know there will be someone better than me for you. And it's just that my heart had choose his owner already, and I only had one heart. I'm sorry"

Bas was looking down with doom expression that Tae never saw of him, but he knew he had to do this.  A drop of tears just falling down, and that makes Tae felt more guilty, but somehow, he hope for Bas to let go all his feelings and get better faster. 

Bas then was wiping his tears and looking up at Tae trying to contain his crying and also trying to fix his expression. He knew he had been rejected right now, but he thought, just maybe, he had expected this, a little, despite having confident that Tae had the same feelings as he had. He took in deep breath, trying to calm himself down, and at the same time trying to be rational about all this, even though it hurts so much inside. But it was all his problem, not Tae's fault. At least he could understand that much.

"You are talking about P'Copter, right? The one who had own your heart long before you knew me. I envy him so much. I envy him back then when he was still with his ex, and now I am so envy him when he had you. He was suppose to be a lucky person from my point of view, but somehow, I felt pity towards him too, you know. P'Tae, I don't know if you realize this or not, but people around you keeps on saying that you don't really loves him that much since it had been so long you both had been living together but nothing came out of it. You both were still like brothers and strangers, but obviously not lovers. That was one of the reason which convince me that you will open up to me and accepted my feelings when the time comes. I thought this was the times. You have been spoiling me too much these days without even care about how his feelings almost all the times that I really thought you actually loves me. What is this, P'Tae? Are you playing with me? Playing with P'Copter?"

Tae was frowning hearing Bas. What did he said? I ignore Copter? I never ignored him, it's just that i gave him some space to adapt to the study, and that he looks so exhausted I don't want to disturb him much. much more nagging him.