Superbat Oneshots

Bird Problems

Bruce collapsed on the couch, running a hand through his hair and sighing. Finally, he could get a break. There were very few instances where he could go even a few minutes without a break. But Dick and Jessica had taken care of most of the tasks for the day and were on a mission.

He grabbed a book that was on the side table and flipped a couple pages. But his quiet reading time was interrupted by a loud banging at the front door and the sound of Clark's voice. "BRUCE!!!" the Kryptonian rushed into the room, his excitement making him float.

Bruce groaned. "What is it now, Kal?"

"I CAUGHT A BIRD!"

"That's nice." Bruce said, not comprehending yet what Clark said. "Wait, WHAT!?" He snapped his book shut and finally took notice to Clarks hands, obviously holding the poor bird. He could hear the muffled chirping. "CLARK KENT, WHAT THE HELL?"

"It's so cute!" Clark grinned, "I wanted to keep it as a pet! You have enough money and space for this little guy."

Bruce rubbed his temple with his fingers, already regretting everything. "Kal, you can't keep it."

"Why?"

"Because it's a wild animal. I won't have a wild animal in the house."

"You have Ace!"

"Ace is a domestic dog. There's a difference. Speaking of Ace, he would kill that thing in a minute."

"He would never!"

"He absolutely would."

"Clark, he would attack any human who entered the home if I didn't have him trained. What makes you think that he won't hurt your precious bird?"

Clark paused, and huffed. "I still want it."

"Well, you can't keep it."

"I'll just have it in my apartment." Clark had a stubborn look in his eyes. "You can't make me put it back."

"True." Bruce opened his book again. "But I can think of many reasons why you shouldn't."

Clark snorted. "Oh really? What are they?"

Bruce held up a finger and started counting off. "One, Your apartment is very anti-animal and the only reason you can have Krypto is because I paid them extra money. Two, Krypto will also- don't interrupt me- eat that bird. He has no self control. Three, it's a wild animal so you shouldn't take it away from its home. It's spring time, so it probably has eggs. And four, you would kill it within a week."

Clark had his hands open a little so the bird could peek its head through. It was a tiny sparrow, barely the size of Clark's palm. "I guess you're right." Clark muttered and went to the window. "Can you open the window?"

Bruce set his book down and opened the window. Clark let go of the bird and it flew off, chirping happily. "I really wanted to keep it." Clark said, sadly.

Bruce chuckled and put a hand on his boyfriend's back. "I know. You're just so sweet." he teased, pressing his nose to Clark's cheek. "A little sweetheart, wanting to bring the zoo to our house. Maybe someday, we can get a bird."

Clark grinned widely and put his arm around Bruce's shoulder. "Nah, we have enough pets anyway."

"What?" Bruce questioned.

Clark held up a finger and listened closely to something. Bruce also strained his ears, but his were not nearly as good as Clarks. It didn't help that he made the walls of the mansion almost completely soundproof.

"FATHER!!!" Damian stormed into the room, his ears practically smoking. "JONATHAN HID MY UNDERWEAR AS A STUPID PRANK!"

"DAMIAN PUNCHED ME IN THE NOSE!" Jon came in. "And yes, I know that I can't get hurt very well, but still!"

Bruce shook his head. "Just like a zoo."