"For the two that have held each other from the start"
Is what I heard once, echoed to me in a dream. You know it, I told you! I was lost at sea with my crew, and when we drowned, I begged a goddess to save me. To bring me home to you, even if only to say goodbye, because I couldn't just leave you. and she bellowed at me, her voice reverberating through the ocean-
"FINE. for the two that have held each other from the start"
and I was warm. and I was alive. and you were scared, but I wasn't, because I was back in your arms, back in bed. Every dream about you I've had has played out very similarly- I'm lost somewhere, or I'm led astray, and something forces me to remember you. Then I drop everything I'm doing and tear through dreams like pages of a book just to get to you...even if it means I have to wake up, I'm always looking for you.
And in the dreams where I wasn't looking for you, I was right next to you. In those ones, the sun is always warm and shining on our faces, our faces, that have visible aging by those points from said sun, deeper smile lines and gray and white streaks through our naturally dark hair. Bodies finding it harder and harder to keep us upright, but I never mind, because my chest is full of love and you're right next to me. That's all I could ever ask for
"For the two that have held each other from the start..."
Have we? Been the two holding each other from the start? I'm not confident I know when the "start" is. When I was born? Maybe when I went flying off a stack of chairs? Or when I swung so high I fell right on my back, knocking all the air out of my lungs? Or when I met you? Maybe when I met you. In those moments, however short they really were, they felt long. It certainly felt like the clock of my life, tucked neatly in my chest, only started ticking when my eyes landed on you. In those moments, I was falling fast and hard, whether I knew it or not.
Or maybe I'm dramatic, that it was nothing than a cumulation of my imagination, the unconscious acceptance that we definitely were dancing around love this entire time, the undeniable proof that I couldn't run from my feelings any longer. Who knows?
In my reality, I am right next to you. The sun is always warm and shining on our faces, our faces, that have visible youth untouched by said sun, forming smile lines and blonde streaks and unnatural colours through our naturally dark hair. Bodies still finding the strength everyday to keep us upright, and I don't mind, because my chest is full of love and you're right next to me. That's all I could ever ask for
But I think that goddess was right. We are the two that have held each other from the start, and I won't even let go in death. Now that I've found you, I'll just keep holding on for the rest of time, until the concept of time itself completely collapses.
I hope you don't mind :)
