HxH Illegal Knowledge

5: Jumping Rope While Robbing the Malacologist

I'm so good at chapter titles👍

•How all the not-original Phantom Troupe members became members

Eat food, drink water, and get 5+ hours of sleep today or pew pew pow pow 💥‼️‼️💥🤕🤕🤕💥 💥💥‼️‼️💥

So I wents and dids that oogling, or whatever you youngins call it these day. And after I- good googley moogley that's one heck of a tortoise‼️‼️

What was I sayin?

Oh, right, after sharin' my controversial opinions and getting banned from them there "dark web" (I think it's the internet segregation for those colored folks), I found out that the original troupe members were, er, what were there names again?

Churro? Frankenstein, Unicorn, Machi, Packing-roomba, Fanta, Kow-a-bunga and Shark Tank‼️‼️‼️

After doin' some more research, 'n getting banned from Columbia(though I can't remember which one), I went down to Georgia.

I was looking for a steering wheel.

But suddenly out from the shade, some kiddo name Johnny came, all there with them fancy flavored cigarettes and illegal plant substances, fired up as he shouted "Ur pretty good ol' son‼️‼️"

This was confusion' me cuz he was quite younger than me. Calling me son wasn't appropriate, so that hurt my feelings and I felt like taking it out on the next 378 customer service workers I talked to.

The Johnny boy then took a long chug from a 32 gallon container of straight vodka. This was concernin' cause he could lift so much, and was 18 feet tall.

"So- fuck that shits strong, yeeee-haw," Johnny said taking a moment to yee his haws, before screamin at the top of them lungs "🔥🔥But 💥sit down‼️‼️‼️ in that 💣💥💥chair right there!!💥🔥🔥🤕🤕💥 and let me🔥show 💥💥💣you how‼️ it's 💥💥done‼️‼️💥"

Then a chair started chasin' me, all around. But it was kinda slow cuz it could only scoot in my general direction.

That was what I thought, at least. Until sonny over there started playin' sum ukulele or whatever it is, and that demon chair it started violently charging at me.

After Johnny stopped, he started tryin' to get me to give him my "gold fiddle"

Which was either a robbery, or him tryna "rizz me up", as the kiddos say.

And Johnny wasn't very nice. It's like if you, like, y'know, you, you buy a house, and some immigrants, like them lil' leprechauns and, yeehaw, all keep tryna break in, so you shoot 'em' and then, er, the leprechauns are trying to break, leprechauns, what was I, where are human skulls the leprechauns? Have I lost, they're trying, where are, to break in? Where's the, there they, where, yep yep yep, where where where, there are bugs in the leprechauns, slurs for the leprechauns, slurs for 1000 days, where are the leprechauns, bring me the leprechauns. Road work ahead, AÆÆÆÆÆÆÆÆÆÆÆÆ, I need, feast feast feast, the Easter bunny won't survive, where leprechauns. Where where where

Ah, but back to my research. Found out there "legal" names are:

Chrollo, Franklin, Uvogin, Machi, Pakunoda, Feitan, Nobunaga 'n Shalnark.