His Lost Heartbeat

F.B Last

Looking at the crying Bondita , and being disgusted from her  femininity  Anirudh realises the blunder he has made .He closes his eyes tightly, mentally cursing him over his success on creating the mess. He has successfully made her guilty about the most natural changes in her body and emotions. No, actually he has forced her to feel criminal about her feelings which is not in her control.

He could have made her understand about these things beforehand. Why can't he just think that she is growing up and she might need some guidance, some information about the changes in her body and emotions? Earlier too , he has failed .He didn't consider the need to teach her about menstruation, even the thought that she might menstuate at some period of time, didn't crossed his mind. His oblivion lead her to go through mental stress that she had to bear after she , herself , successfully deciphered that she was suffering from some fatal communicable disease, which would infect everyone specially him .He couldn't blame Bondita for it. All the instructions that she got from Koyeli like forbidding her from entering into temple or kitchen, from touching many things and prohibiting her to come near him , had made the space for her fear.

It took two days for him to understand the reason due to which she was forcing him away from her .He couldn't even understand if he had not read her letter that she had written to her mother , asking her to come to her for her aid. He had thought that the most difficult phase of his life had passed away .

But seems like it is not the case.

And again he failed to understand the need to aware her about changes within her.

Damn .

He himself has forgotten about the inevitable changes that teenage hormones would bring. But then how could he remember? Which man can understand the emotional changes of a teenage girl?

His knowledge towards the woman feelings is confined around those vacant words that Saudamini had used to express herself and he couldn't rely on that.

He can't understand Bondita's emotions on the basis of his own teenage experience. He can't even imagine Bondita's mind working like that .But then What if it really works like that ? The dread that he felt spreading in him was way beyond the capability of the words. Every night while entering into his room, he felt the terror gripping him. What if ...?

However after some days , he got to know that his Bondita is still as innocent as she was back then. But then he can't understand that what is changed and what she wants to change .What is she expecting from him was beyond his mental capacity to think? He doesn't know why she is not being as much vocal as she was used to be?He was at his wit's end. He needed to ask someone about this .But He can't just roam in the village and ask any woman .

'Hey! Can you share your teenage experience with me? How your body and mind works at that time?"

It could be anything but decent .But then how can he understand Bondita and how to behave around her ?.He was just cursing his fate when his eyes fall on Saurabh ,his best friend and brother-in-law , married to Bondita's sister and father of a one and a half year old girl child. He could help him. At least he has his share of female experience.

"Saurabh" He called him from behind when he was roaming in the village to calm his emotional turmoil which arises due to Bondita' s result .Saurabh stopped at her path and turned to look at his best friend.

"Baat karne thi tumse kuch" Said Anirudh

"Ha, Bolo" Said Saurabh , sensing the tension on his friend's face.

"Nhi yaha nhi , akele me" Anirudh speaks, looking around the field .

And that's how they ended up in Anirudh's cabin in the court. It took few minutes for Anirudh to start the conversation. And That day Anirudh got to know a strange thing about man.