His Lost Heartbeat

F .B³

Kaka?" When he enters in his room , Bondita was tieing her hair in bun while sitting near the mirror and first question that she ask is about Trilochan.

"Wahi per hai" Anirudh replied and receives a look of displeasure from her
He locked the door and walks towards the bed. He knows that she doesn't want Trilochan to think than they are spending their night together .She can think what his mind must be imagining and this is making her more uncomfortable .As a result situation is becoming more difficult for her .

He wishes his Kaka could understand the difference between the feeling of 'shame' and 'shyness' .

What Bondita is feeling is shame not shyness .In attempt  to escalate the progress in their relationship, Trilochan is just exacerbating the situation. If today,he will not be careful with his words, many things can go wrong on several fronts.

"Puchho kya puchhna hai Bondita?" He asked bravely without looking at Bondita who is still standing near the mirror. She looks at him  feeling lost of words.

He said that they'll talk in evening.He should have to know what they are going to talk?

On not receiving the answer Anirudh turns to look at her .One glance at her face and he knows what is she thinking.

"Janta hu Mai kya baat karni hai hume" He speaks softly and open his mouth to speak further but then decide otherwise." Idhar aao" He extends his hand towards her, asking her to come near. There is still some hesitation in her eyes but still she walks towards him.

She was never hesitant to be near him. He sigh dejectedly.

It is strange how one's perceptive changes one's behaviour.

She slides her hand into his and he pull it slightly allowing her to sit comfortably beside him.

"Mai Manta hu Bondita ki ....aaj hum jo baat karenge usme ..hum dono hi sehaj nhi honge..." He speaks in low voice without looking at her. This time he has not sat in front of her to understand her unsaid words from her eyes .

"Aur Shayad ye sahi samay hai bhi nhi in baato ka per...." He stops, feeling guilty for her situations.She is not mature enough to understand the labyrinth of marriage.

"Per Man me to aa gya hai na ,Mishti" He said and dare to glance at her whose eyes is fixed at her one hand which is kept at her lap.

"Sab baatein apne man me rakhogi to dhire dhire wo humare rishte per galat asar dalega" She looks up at him with scared eyes. "Abhi hi dekho , Kal tak jaise hum the waise hai kya aaj" 

She takes a deep breath and looks down. Yes, everything is changed.He is still same but something in her has changed or everything in her has changed. Whenever she looks at her she can't forget that someday she is supposed to.....

"Bologi nhi Mishti to humesha aaisa hi rahega .Please batao Kya chal raha hai tumhare Man me  " He asked.

"Kisi ki marzi kaise ho sakti hai?" She speaks without looking up .She is still not able to digest his statement. " Laj nhi aati hogi .Ajeeb nhi lagta hoga. Mai to sirf Mahilao ke bich bhi kapde nhi badal pati aur....." She looks down not able to complete her words.

Anirudh looks away, not able to form sentence. All his eloquence evaporates in air .He doesn't know how he can make her understand this thing.

He stands on his feet and reaches for the jug . Suddenly his throat seems dry as if he hasn't drunk water since ages .When he picks up the jug ,he realises that his hands are actually trembling. With those trembling hands he pour water for himself and gulped one after another glass of it .