His Lost Heartbeat

F.B 4

Anirudh closes the room of study behind him and tears rolls down from his eyes

AAP BAAKI PATIYO JAISE KYU NHI HAI PATI BABU."

Her accusation is too harsh for his heart to accept .Since years ,he has been trying to  not become like rest of the husbands .He has been fighting with everyone be it his own family or the society just because he doesn't want to become like rest. He is well aware about the type of rumours that is going behind his back about his married life , specially about his masculinity. It did hurt his  ego but nothing  could compel him to snatch his Bondita's innocence .

He can't explain it to his uncle because he is  too much orthodox to understand that husband and wife relationship is not confined  just around the physical needs . For him only the consummation of marriage will prove that Anirudh has accepted Bondita as his wife , anything less than that is not acceptable. Until then She only will remain his responsibility and his fittor but not his wife. His uncle's harsh words has proven this.

Anirudh is not denying his accusations. Yes ,Bondita indeed is his responsibility,his fitoor,his beacon of change .He has done many things for Bondita just because he has to prove to others that he can do that. He has not give up on his marriage because of the same reason.

But Why can't anyone understand that it was the time of initial days of their marriage? Can't they see the changes in him over the period of time? Can't they understand that he has developed feeling of affection towards her?

What everyone is expecting from him?That he would fall in love with his eight year old bride just by glancing at her and would lust over her delicate body without caring about her fragile mind.

What everyone is thinking? That he , like some wolf, is waiting for her to turn thirteen so that he could display his masculinity on her.

"Ganit ke sare niyam and Kanun ka sara gyan hoga usse per pati- patni ke rishta kya hota hai ,ye pta bhi hai usse"

Yes ,her age was only to know about mathematic formulas and not about the husband wife relationship. Her biggest  problem should be about her homework and not about her married life .

She shouldn't be married at the first place .But here she is married and married to him.

Why can't anyone understand that He is  fighting for her ? He is firm at his place because he doesn't want the curse of child marriage to plague Bondita . .His 'fitoor' is to give her a bright future, a chance to live freely in the society which is free from social evil .He will not get anything from this 'fitoor' .He just wants to protect her

"Per kya tum Kamyab hue Anirudh ?" Questioned his inner conscience to him. " Dekho Aaj Bal vivah ke shrap tumhari Bondita tak bhi pahuch gya hai .Dekh  paa rahe the na uski aankhon padhai ke prati rukha pan .Aaj tumhari Bondita ke liye khule aasman se jyada ye bandhan pyara ho gya hai .Uske liye jo ladai lad rahe ho uss ladai me wahi tumhare khilaf ho gayi hai. Ab kaise ladoge apni Bondita ke khilaf "

"Bondita ke khilaf Anirudh?" A corner of subconscious mind stands called him out."Uske aankho me padhai ke prati rukha pan dikha per dard nhi dikha uska .Uske prati apna rukha pan nhi dekha tumne. Kya tumhe nhi samjna chahiye tha ki wo badi ho rahi hai ?  Uske umr ke iss padav me tumhe sambhal kar nhi chalna chahiye tha? Jab usse bure aur achhe touch ki bhi samjh nhi thi tab tumne pura dhyan rakha tha . Ek duri rakhi thi.Aur ab jab jaruri tha tab duri nhi rakh sakte the? Suna nhi tumne uski baatein. Samjhne lagi hai wo ab dekhne ke tairko me antar .Pta chal raha hai usse ki kaise Pati- Patni ka rishta alag hota hai .Ehsaas hota hoga usse ki uska rishta waisa nhi hai .Socha hai tumne kabhi ki kaisa lagta hoga usse logo ke tane sun kar .Ye jan kar uske  perfect rishte me koi kami hai  . Wo bas apne hisab se iss kami ko hi to pura karne ki koshish kar rahi thi .Uski kya galti hai Bolo? "