Meant To Be Yours (Yandere Zenitsu x y/n)

Thoughts

TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AND ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION 

(ZENITSU'S Journal)

Therapy Journal Week 1

Hey, so my anxiety is really starting to get to me now. I feel trapped, out of place, useless, repulsive...... struggling to stay alive........ when I shouldn't be.......... I'm just being dramatic...... I'm fine.... I have some friends like Tanjiro and Inosuke and Genya and....... well.......... that's about it but..... I'll be fine......

I do really wish that Nezuko would notice me though. I've been begging for a kindhearted girl like her my whole life but she doesn't even bat an eye to me...... I don't blame her.... I'm an awkward loser........ but sometimes I question if I actually feel this way....... maybe I'm just asking for attention and that's why I need so much help....it doesn't help that I have absolutely no one to guide me in life....... Maybe I just need to find one person...... or maybe I just need to suck it up....or maybe I need to disappear. 

Therapy Journal Week 2

It's getting harder and harder by the day....... I can't even pick up my phone anymore....... I don't want to look at it or talk to people... because they probably don't wanna talk to me......I mean....... if they don't want to talk to me I don't want to burden or force them........I wouldn't wanna be around me either............ goddammit.... I can't help but feel sorry for myself and it pisses me off. 

But on the bright side,  I actually ate something today and started working out again...... I don't wanna look like some shaggy guy that can't do anything when Tanjiro has all the ladies and at least everyone knows Inosuke. Genya has girls fawning over his badass look and sweet personality and I can't even say hi to one without them side eyeing me. 

At least I see that kind girl, Nezuko, every single day. I see her in the hallway all the time. Her laugh makes me want to laugh, even though I have no idea what the fuck they're talking about. I mean, I already hate walking through the hallway but she makes it slightly better. 

Therapy Journal Week 3

I'm so pissed off! This fucking journal isn't helping! I should just fucking quit, I really should. Every single fucking day I walk through the hall, seeing everyone laughing with their friends as I walk by myself, trying not to cry at my life condition when there as so so so many people that have it so much worse. I'm such a fucking bitch baby I swear to God. 

Nezuko's never going to notice me. Tanjiro and Inosuke are better off without me. I'm just dragging people down because of my gloominess that no one wants to deal with because no one fucking cares and I don't blame them.  They probably got really fucking tired of listening to me whine and bitch and moan about how much I fucking hate my problems.  

Every single fucking day I sit alone because I don't wanna worry people but I don't give a fuck anymore. Stop wasting food on me. Stop wasting water, sleep, money, and clothes. I don't need it I'm a waste anyway. Let my meat rot off my fucking bones. No one has noticed my pain so far..... why would they notice now? 

WHY THE FUCK AM I EVEN DOING THERAPY WHEN I'M HELPLESS AND OTHER PEOPLE NEED IT MORE THAN I DO!?  NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO ONE CARES NO I ONE CARES N  I ONE CARESH I ONE CARESH I ONE ARESHO I ON ARESHOU D I ON RESHOU DI I O ESHOUL DI I O SHOUL DI I O SHOULD DI I SHOULD DI I SHOULD DIE

 I should die.

Therapy Journal Week- (Scratch that) 

Suicide Note, 

If you're reading this, I probably already took my life. Nothing could have changed my mind. I honestly regret not doing it sooner. I realize that I'm just useless. A waste of space. I've been waiting for Nezuko to notice me my whole life, all I do is cry and whine and I'm tired of feel like I'm polluting this world by existing in it. 

My parents never wanted me, Tanjiro and Inosuke don't even bat an eye to my sorrow, Nezuko doesn't give a damn, none of the teachers show any sympathy and my therapist is just doing it for the money. No one cares about me so why should I care about myself? So now, what I want to say to anyone who reads this. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I burdened you, I'm sorry that I wasted your time, I'm sorry I brought your spirits down, I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry......... but I'm making it up to you now and stopping myself from ever hurting someone again...... but ending it all together. That's the only way. 

So this is the end of the story for Zenitsu Agatsuma, the world's biggest loser. I'm sorry I troubled you all. 

Therapy Journal Week 4

I need her.