Meant To Be Yours (Yandere Zenitsu x y/n)

Chapter 3 Why........

     Trigger warning: Smoking/nicotine addiction, Suicidal attempt/thoughts, Violence, Underage drinking, depression, anxiety, second degree murder, not consented intimate activities

 (Zenitsu's POV) 

          I woke up the next morning, surprisingly. I was covered in my own blood. I look at all the gashes and writing I carved into my bare body. Damn, I'm dizzy. I look over at my journal and shove it in my drawer and rub my head. Jesus Christ, my head is sore. 

          I sigh and look down at myself once more. Have I gone insane? Why did I even do this to myself. I look around the apartment to see the same writing in blood all over my apartment. What the hell am I gonna tell my landlord? There's no sane reason for someone to do this.... I rub my head once more and go over to the shower. God, my body stung all over. 

           As the shower was heating up, I went into my cabinet and pulled out every pain killer I could find and took a couple of each. I mean, I hate myself anyway. I plan on dying tonight. No point in taking care of myself now. I hop into the shower and wash all the blood off my body. It stung a little but the boiling water felt nice. I try to recall what happened the day before. What influenced me to act in such a way....... that girl........ y/n......... why did she have such a choke hold on my heart...... on my brain....... on my body? I don't understand.....

       It doesn't fucking matter anyway. I'm just gonna chill with her a little today to get her the fuck off my back and then I'll jump. This time...... I'll jump earlier......right as school lets out.....so everyone will see.......not just a couple of stupid Drama and chess kids. I'll look like art....I'll make everyone feel something.

        I get out of the shower and look at the mirror. Shit........ Those cuts are deep...... I need to somehow hide all these things.... I put on my boxers and baggy pants. I look at myself again and clear my throat. God, I disgust myself a little....

               I put on one of those black wife beaters. I then put on my jacket-
.....fuck......... I gave it to that chick.........

              I really care about that jacket too........ Damn...... I need that thing........... 
I put on one of my hoodies instead. I get all my pills I take in a day along with some nicotine capsules and my pack for the day and stuff them all in my pant pockets. I ruffled up my hair and put up my hoodie before putting on my metal toed boots and walking out. 

          It was raining today just like yesterday except...... I saw someone that I usually don't notice when walking to school. Maybe it was just because I was walking to school a couple hours earlier to be on time this time but..... there she was............ and my heart started pumping really fast. Really......... really fast......

        I felt drool fall down my chin as I quickly wiped it off. What the hell is happening to me? Why does my body start shaking when I'm around her?! She looked.......... so innocent......... way more innocent than yesterday. She was wearing a cute short dress. It was white with spider lily designs on the tips of the dress. Her sleeves were poofy and she was holding a kitty cat umbrella. She saw me and waved and ran over to me. 

"Hey Zenitsu! I brought you your jacket back!" 

I look at her and grin slightly, "Thanks." 

"I usually don't see you walking down this street. Why is that?" She asked, placing her backpack on the floor and pulling out my jacket as I held her umbrella for her. 

"I usually take a while to wake up." 

"Well, it seems like you woke up pretty early today." She hands me my leather jacket. 
"Well, I had my mind on things." I reach into her pocket and playfully grab her ID and read it to myself.