Meant To Be Yours (Yandere Zenitsu x y/n)

Chapter 2 Abandoned Baby

Trigger Warning: Suicidal thoughts/attempt, child/infant abandonment, trauma, depression, smoking, self hate, self harm

(Zenitsu POV)

        And so today was the day. The day that Zenitsu Agatsuma would die. You're probably thinking that I'm stupid. That life will get better for me. That there's no reason for me to make such a terrible decision and to that I say that you're the dumb one for not realizing that my existence is equivalent to poison. It seeps into other people's lives and kills them. All I do is cling onto people like mold and ruin them and I'm tired of it. 

        It's not my fault that I need help. It's not my fault that I'm anxious or can't do anything for myself. It's not my fault I'm so dependent on other people that I'm equivalent to a baby. I know that. It's my parents fault........ they birthed a monster like me...... and they left me........ and I don't blame them. Though I was too small to even remember........ I'm still terrified of the thought of being alone and left....... it's like my body knows that I was abandoned before........ and it's scary........

      But even though that's true, I still continue to isolate myself from society, leaving myself more miserable...... I'm really pathetic...... I have no friends....... Nezuko doesn't notice me..... I'm hopeless....... so incredibly hopeless........ and so..... I'm here today to take on the responsibility that was supposed to be my parents'job. No, no, not take care of me......

Kill me

Make myself no one's responsibility

Take away the burden from people's lives

Free them from their shackles

Make the world pure again

Remove myself from the picture.........

          I'm not trying to throw a pity party when I say that my parents should have aborted me or even killed me as an infant, even if it was in a slow and painful way like starving me. I wished that ,at the very least, they would have abandoned me in the forest instead of at the foot of a grimy orphanage.  It was such a pain to get out of that place. I mean, I may not appreciate myself, but I can admit that I'm a damn genius. 

      When I was only 6 years old, I deleted my files in the orphanage. I never had a birth certificate in the first place so as far as anyone knows.......... I don't exist. The only proof I'm a person is my school file which doesn't matter since I'll be dead tonight. 

           

                   It was a Tuesday night I did it. I was in April too. It rained ruthlessly the last couple days. All the plants were drowned and dead. I look at the time. 7:38 p.m.  The sun just went down. I was walking to school. My neighborhood was a shitty one. There were usually barrel fires with some high hobos drinking some off brand beer or some shit but all of the fire was put out due to the rain and all of the drunk assholes that love to pick pocket me were all in their tents or cardboard box forts sleeping. 

           I sigh, my headphones glitching out from water soaking in them as I scrolled through my playlist for the last song I wanted to listen to. Once I pick one, my headphones give out.