Mine

Chapter 6

I stood looking into the mirrors of the small tailor, as my mom and brother sat on benches near by. We brought our midsummers dresses here every year and although I thought it was stupid this place gave me some sort of comfort.

The walls were lined with rose wall paper and and gold light fixtures. It was small and on a main shopping strip and being in here always meant seeing myself in a new light. Spending the towns money, electricity, food, and workers to put on a massive party for the rich pricks of Kildare was always incredibly vapid to me. But I also couldn't lie that putting on a beautiful dress and making myself up didn't make me feel the most gorgeous I ever would. That was why I looked forward to midsummers, oh and the alcohol of course. 

I stared in the mirror rubbing my hands over the silky pink material covering my skin. It was perfect, literally tailored perfectly to my body. It was a light baby pink, like the color of my lips when I first woke up in the morning and was slightly dehydrated. 

The dress had thin straps but you could barely see them and the neckline complimented by bust nicely. I wasn't super busty, just a B cup but in the right outfits they could steal the show. It wasn't anything too tight but yet it hugged my curves nicely and ended just by my ankles, showing off my strappy sandal heels. They were short, taller than a kitten heel but still short enough that I could stably walk after five drinks. 

As I stared in the mirror and looked back at the prettiest version of myself I couldn't help but not feel happy. Cause although this was the most beautiful version of me there was it wasn't my favorite version of me. Because my favorite version of myself, was the one with Rafe. 

This time last year me and Rafe were still in the honeymoon phase. Every time I was around him I was engulfed with butterflies so heavily I could't feel my toes. I remember showing him my midsummers dress for the first time. 

He came to pick me up and take me to the party. It was like a movie scene from a movie where the girls going to prom and her handsome date waits at the bottom of the stairs watching her make her entrance.  

That was exactly how it happened. I made my way down the steps of my house in an elegant floral sage green dress that hugged me perfectly, and he stood at the bottom of the steps waiting for me in a tan suit. He made me feel like a princess, like I was the most special girl in the world. Not just that day but everyday. And standing here today made me think about how much I missed him. How much I longed for that version of Rafe who made me so happy, before he decided to chose cocaine over me - over us and our future together. 

I was pulled out of my thoughts when my mom came up from behind me putting her hands on my arms and nestling her head on my shoulder. She rubbed her hands up and down my exposed arms soothing me. 

"You look beautiful Laney bug," She started "So why isn't there a smile on your face to match that?" She asked looking at me through the mirror. I didn't say anything back, I just gave her a small smile and slight laugh which quickly fell into a straight line and sad eyes my mom could see right through. 

"Hey what's wrong Lulu?" She asked getting slightly more serious. 

"It's nothing really - I'm just being dramatic," I say letting out a huff and shaking my head. 

"Laney when you were a toddler it took physical pain for you to cry, ok? My daughter is not dramatic, so fess up," she says boldly. 

"Ok, ok I just - I can't stop thinking about this time last year, like Midsummers and more specifically who I was going to midsummers with," I confessed to my mother in slight embarrassment, feeling my cheeks heat up and match the roses wallpaper. 

"Oh baby, are you missing Rafe?" She said, now turning herself to stand in front of me. Still comforting me with her hands on my upper arms. 

"Yeah, I guess I am," I said plainly. 

"Did something happen or just a lot of memories with this time of year?" She asked consolingly.

"Well, I saw him at the party last night, but barely I mean we just like caught each others eyes from across the beach, that was all." I said in a huff. 

"And that was it you just looked at each other?" She asked with a raised brow, as if she thought I may be leaving out important details. 

"I mean it felt kind of like," I took a pause thinking of the right words. 

"Sensual?" I said with a high pitched voice and watched my moms face contort as she tried to understand. 

"But that was until he saw I was with JJ. Then he disappeared and I didn't see him again."

"He's still on you about the JJ thing??" she said confused. 

"Well I was kind of like. . . wrapped on JJ or like holding onto him?" I said slowly. "But it doesn't matter, we're not together he can't get angry over who I'm with. I just - I was missing him but I guess him getting pissed over the JJ thing is a reminder of why we're not," I said now getting discouraged and upset, not at my mom but at the fact that I had to start talking about the things that hurt me so bad again. 

"I mean things ended so quick honey do you think maybe just talking to him could give you some more closure or put you at peace?" she asked sincerely though still upsetting me. 

"No mom!" I snapped at her. "I know you don't get it but I can't talk to him, ok!? I can't talk to him, I can't see him, I can't even be in the same vicinity as him because look, after last night just making eye contact with him, I'm wishing we were together again!" I protested in less than a yell but louder than speaking. 

" I get it! I get it, okay!" She began. "I'm just trying to help Laney bug I just want you to be happy," She said raising her hand to my face and lightly stroking my cheek with her thumb. Hitting me with a massive wave of guilt for taking out my frustrations about Rafe on her.

"I know, I'm sorry." I said wrapping her into a massive hug. My mom didn't know the full extent of what happened between Rafe and I. I had told her we broke up because we were fighting constantly and just became really toxic. Which was true, we did fight all of the time, and we were incredibly toxic but I could never tell her why, I couldn't tell her about the constant drinking, smoking, and then the culprit that ultimately killed our relationship, cocaine. 

After releasing me from the hug she put her hand back on my cheek. 

"Alright my beautiful girl let's get this boxed up and get home," she said referring to the stunning pink dress still on my body and gave me a kiss on the cheek. 

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Hi!

I wanted to include this chapter just to give you a grasp on Laney and her mom relationship. I really love writing her backstory and letting you get to know her, so expect more chapter like this one! 

I want the story to follow the gold plot line of the show because there's so many scenes where I imagine Rafe's love interest and how that would look and I really want to bring those to life. But I'm not sure how in depth or exact I will get on the scenes about the gold that don't include Rafe!  But lmk your thoughts on that!

Please please comment so I'm motivated to keep going!