Lipstick || l.s

twenty one

Harry's POV

I got home and ran up to my room. My mind was going insane and my body just shuts down. I collapse on the floor and just start crying. I hate crying, I hate feeling weak, fuck I hate Eric. He's suppose to be in New York studying at NYU. Why the fuck is he here? I hate him, I hate him, I hate this, I hate him.

Okay, okay. I take deep breathes and try my best to calm down. I need to calm down. I need to stop crying over him. I did not spend 4 months in therapy just for him to fuck up my life again. I just need to sleep and hope that I can wake up and things are back to normal. I'm so done with him fucking up my life.

I change out of the clothes I wore to school and changed into some sweats and a tshirt. I cuddle myself into bed and gently made myself fall asleep.

~~~

Eric and I got in a fight. There was something bothering him all week and he wouldn't tell me what's wrong. I kept asking him to tell me what's wrong so I can help him, but he always said he couldn't tell me.

I was studying at home for a upcoming test in math when Eric texted me.

To: Harry - From: Eric

please come to the park... I will tell you everything...

Of course I choose to go. He said he would tell me everything and I would not miss that opportunity for him to tell me.

To: Eric - From: Harry

I'll be there in 5 min

Harry putted his shoes on and grabbed his keys and phone before leaving the house. He runs to the park that was a 5 minute walk and spot Eric on one of the benches. I take a seat beside him and wait for him to speak.

"I'm sorry I've been so shit to you," he said like he's trying to hold in his sobs.

"Hey, don't worry about it. You know I'm only look out for you."

"I know, okay I'm going to tell you but promise me this won't change anything between us," he said.

"I promise, I'm your best friend," I said while I stick my pinky out.

"Okay," Eric started off before he takes a few deep breaths. This must be serious. "Okay, I've been thinking about it a lot lately, I've been feeling a lot of things lately.."

I never lose focus from Eric. I place my hand on his back and start rubbing it smoothly.

"It's okay, you're doing great," I said encouraging my best friend in any way.

He pokes out a smile before he continues. "I'm... I'm g-gay," he admits.

That was a surprise. I never thought Eric would be gay. Eric has been known for dating girls and everything. But I'm proud that he was able to tell me this. I'm proud of him.

"That's not even the worst part," Eric whispers. "I'm- I think I'm in love with you... Harry."

I froze. My jaw slightly drops and I look at Eric like I saw a dog talk. I didn't know what to say or how to react. Eric avoids eye contact with me and I can suddenly feel the awkward tension between us. I needed to think this through.

I got up, gave Eric a hug and went home. I know that I'm interested in men but that information just came all of a sudden. Barely anybody had in interest in me in school and now my best friend just admits that he's gay and that he's in love with me?

The question is, do I like him? Throughout the years of being friends with him, I did find him very attractive. He's also got a great personality and he's very passionate about his school work. Eric is perfect. I don't know, should I give him a shot or something? I trust Eric with almost anything. He was one of the first people I told I was gay to a year ago and he's been nothing but supportive since then.

Maybe dating and getting intimate with Eric wouldn't be so bad. Maybe it's a good thing because I know him so well. Maybe Eric can be my first real boyfriend. I see no consequences with dating Eric, so maybe I should fall for him.

~~~

I thought about it all night. I texted Eric the next day and asked to meet him at the park again. He quickly replied saying that he would meet me in five minutes. I get ready quickly, I was trying myself look presentable, but not too much.

I put my running shoes and ran to the park. I see Eric walking towards the bench we both sat down yesterday. I walk slowly towards and rehearse what I was going to say to him in my head.

"Harry," he said before he stood up. He walked up to me and gave me a hug. I gave him a big hug in return, I knew he needed one.

"Hey Eric," I said to him in his ear while we held one another. We slowly let go of one another and sit down comfortably on the bench.

"I thought you hated me and didn't want to become friends with me anymore," he said softly.

"Never, I could never hate you Eric, even it's just something as simple as that," I said looking at Eric giving him full reassurance.

"Harry, you can just forget what I said-"

"Eric, wait, listen to me. I thought about it last night. You know I'm interested in dating males so I don't blame you for letting yourself fall for me. But I know that you are a great person. You have a great personality, you are very passionate about school and we have been friends for so long. I also find you very attractive," I said smiling at Eric who smiled back at me.

"Are you saying you like me back?"

"I didn't say anything. Maybe you should try asking me out first," I said before I gave Eric a wink.

"You're such a jerk," Eric said before he starts laughing.

"That's not how you ask the Harry Styles on a date Eric!"

"I hate you so much."

"Bitch me too.

"Shut up Harry," Eric said before he gives Harry a light push on the arm. "Okay, Harry, would you like to go on a date with me this Saturday?"

I was actually planning on being sarcastic with Eric at first, but I already teased him enough. I just gave him my answer.

"Of course I would," I said. Eric opened his arms and pulled me in for his hug.

I'm already really liking him intimately.

~~~

I woke up with tears in my eyes. I hate him! I fucking hate him!

I sob on to my pillow. Why couldn't things be more simpler back then? Why didn't he just end up being the guy I grew up with? Eric is completely different. He's more of a monster to me than an actual human being.

I can't stop crying now, I feel like I won't stop crying. Eric hurt me badly and I can't find a way to make myself feel better. I just feel useless when I think of him. Being with him made feel so low about myself. He took something away from me and I can never take it back. It hurts so much.

~~~

A/N

hey guys I'm back and I'm late in uploading this chapter I'm sorry.

I love you all so much thank you for reading! Your comments are so cute and they always encourage me to write so thank you.

Warning: there's going to be more angst throughout the story and I will give you more warnings at the beginning of the chapters in the future.

btw .. HAPPY CANADA DAY TO ANY OF MY FELLOW CANADIANS!

don't forget to vote and comment! I love you all

~ Rose