Lipstick || l.s

eighteen

Harry's POV

"Are you feeling okay Harry?" My mum asked. She was casually sitting on the edge of my bed while I lay under the covers.

"Yeah, I'm okay." I responded not really in the mood.

"Darling, we can do whatever it takes to get you better. Do want to talk to someone? Take medication? Get a restraining order on Eric?"

Eric is such a disgusting name.

"I want to figure all of this out on my own first. If things get bad then I will talk to someone about it," I said.

"Alright darling, I trust you with this," she said before leaving my room.

I cuddle into my bed and just stare at the ceiling. I'm trying so hard not to think about it, but it's just making me think about it even more.

How could he treat me so terribly? Why was I so naïve? Why was I so desperate for someone to love me?

I start tearing up the more I think about it.

"It won't hurt as much,"

"I know you want it,"

"Harry it will hurt less later,"

"Don't you love me?"

"Then you'll do this for me,"

"You're useless, I'm leaving,"

I'm crying hysterically now into my pillow praying that my mum won't hear or see me like this. The words that came from Eric's mouth is like being trapped inside a tight room while people are screaming from the top of their lungs into your ear. It's all over my head and I can't find a way to ignore it.

There's so many things I want to do to myself, to get rid of what's in my head and to focus on something else, but I can't. I need to stay strong for my mum and sister. It was tragic the first time, I can't make them feel anymore pain from me.

I just cry and cry and cry until I exhaust myself and fall asleep.

~~~

"Mummy! I met a new friend! His name was Eric and he was so nice, he even let me play with one of his trucks," I said to my mum who was sitting down on one of the park benches.

"That's so sweet, can I meet him darling?" My mum asked while she wipes some sand off my body.

"He's playing in the sand box, I'll go get him," I said.

I run my little legs to the sand box and see the same black haired boy playing with his toy trucks.

"Eric, my mummy wants to meet you, she's really nice," I said. Eric left his toys in the sand as we both ran to my mum.

"This is my mummy," I said.

"Well hello sweetheart," my mum said while she holds her hand out to shake Eric's hand.

"My name is Eric," he said while he shakes my mum's hand.

"I know, Harry told me about you, maybe you two can have playdates."

"Can he come today mummy!"

"No Harry, not today, but maybe on the weekend. Where's your mum Eric?"

"She's sitting on the over there with my daddy," Eric said while pointing to a pair of parents. My mum then makes her way to the couple while Eric and I continued to play in the sandbox.