The Dawn Of A New Day (Cricky)

Chapter 8: Nightmare

[Ricky]

I run straight to my apartment, not knowing where else I could go.

You're so pathetic. No one will ever want to be with you. Look at what you've done. But you can always come back to me, Ricky. I'm the only one who loves you and treats you the way you deserve. You know you'll always be my bitch. I will find you. You can never escape me. I hear Jake's voice in my head, and it won't stop. "GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!", I scream while I collapse on my floor.

I'm just lying on the floor silently crying when I hear someone knocking on my door. Shit, it's Chris and he is crying too. The last thing I wanted to do is to hurt him, but can't he see that I'm broken and not worth his patience and love? I don't know what to do but hearing him cry breaks my heart. I slowly walk towards the door and open it. He looks at me and gives me a small smile. How can he still smile after what I put him through?

"Can I come in?", he asks. I just nod and step out of his way. "I'm sorry", he says. What the fuck is he sorry for, he didn't do anything wrong. I just shake my head and sit down on my couch. He sits down next to me. "Look Chris, I am the one who is sorry. I just always fuck everything up. That's exactly what I meant, I don't deserve someone as sweet as you, I will just hurt you and waste your time". "No Ricky", he carefully takes my hands in his, "you deserve everything you want. And I can understand that all this between us is maybe going too fast and that you need time to figure out your feelings. I was serious when I told you I would wait for you. Even if that means waiting forever. You are worth it", he smiles at me.

I start crying again. Before he can react, I hug him. "Thank you!", I say while crying even harder. He just hugs me back and puts me in his lap. I feel so comfortable and safe in his arms. I slowly look up at him, "so are you still my boyfriend?", I ask shyly. "Of course, you can't get rid of me that easily, my little raccoon", he says and kisses my forehead. I smile up at him and we stay like this for a while. "It's late, you should probably go to bed", Chris says. I nod, "are you staying with me? Please?". He looks surprised but smiles, "if you want me to stay then of course I will stay. I will just sleep here on the couch". I shake my head, "No, please sleep next to me, I feel safe when you are next to me". He smiles at me and nods. We go to bed and for the first time in weeks I immediately fall asleep.

[Chris]

I'm so tired after everything that happened today, but I'm just happy that Ricky is okay. He is already asleep in my arms. I unfortunately can't fall asleep, still thinking about everything he told me. He didn't deserve any of this and I just hope I can help him to realize that he deserves to be loved. I really do love him, and I will always protect him. Suddenly I notice him starting to shake and muttering something in his sleep. "No, please. Go away", he starts crying. He is having a nightmare, so I decide to wake him up. "Ricky, it's all good, it was just a dream, you are safe now", I whisper to him. He wakes up looking confused. "Sorry", he mutters. I just hug him and tell him that everything is fine. He asks me to sing to him, so I do, and he falls back asleep. I just wish for his nightmares to finally end. Soon after I finally fall asleep, too.

When I wake up again, it's already morning and Ricky is still asleep in my arms. I smile and hold him closer. Today we have band practice and this weekend we have another gig, this time it's a bit bigger so I'm really excited. I decide to carefully get up without waking up Ricky, to make us some breakfast. I make some pancakes, fruit, and coffee and take everything back to his bed. I start waking Ricky up and he smiles at me. Fuck, this beautiful smile will be the death of me. "Good morning baby, I made you breakfast", I say to him. "Thank you, Chris. You really don't have to do this for me", he says shyly. "I know, but you deserve to be spoiled", I say and join him in bed again. We eat breakfast and talk about the upcoming gig before getting ready and making our way to band practice.