SasuSaku - Past Selves

Chapter 11 - Homecoming Queen

Sakura was speechless, which didn't happen much. She was used to having snap-backs for everything.

"You can keep the clothes and everything, just pack up and leave. Go home, Sakura."

"Oh so you're suddenly fine with me leaving? With this stupid curse mark and all after imprisoning me for a month?" Sakura sounded uncertain, as if something was not making sense.

"If you're so miserable here, I'm not about to keep hearing you bitch about your perfect little life in that hellhole." He said calmly, walking past her back to the hideout.

"And you just no longer need a medic ninja, huh?" Sakura followed close behind.

"I'll find someone else."

"Someone else? Itachi is no joke, and you know that! Where will you find a good enough medic?"

"Make up your mind, dammit." He stopped abruptly, almost causing Sakura to run into his back.

"Don't act like you care now. It is my problem. I will find someone - or maybe I won't. Whatever. I see now that I don't look forward to anything past killing that psychopath. There's nothing for me beyond that." He kept walking to the hideout.

Sakura followed him in silence, not believing the situation she was in.

"So that's it? You're just letting me go?"

"Yes, I told you already. It was a mistake to think anything about this would work in the first place. I'm going to go take a shower. Ideally, you'll be gone by the time I'm done."

*That jerk!* she thought, clenching her fists. *Well, he's finally letting me go. I'm sick of his fucking tantrums and delusions." She scoffed, and went into Sasuke's bedroom to pack her things.

The room still smelled like sex. She stepped over her ripped bra and sundress on the floor, trying to pretend she didn't get a rush of memories of last night. She quietly picked up her headband and kunai, before heading into Suigetsu's room to pick up her other miscellaneous belongings.

She heard the shower water stop running, meaning Sasuke was almost done. She hurried to the front door, pausing for a second and looking back at the kitchen.

*Is this really happening? I didn't even get to say bye to Sui... Or Juugo! I hope his injuries are healing well...* She, almost reluctantly stepped out of the hideout, started running, and never looked back.

Sasuke took an ice cold shower to clear his head, but no luck. His head was pounding, arms almost shaking from anger, feeling emotionally exhausted. He leaned his forehead against the shower wall, and punched it with a fist.

How did things get to this point? He felt humiliated. How could he ever think he'd just return to Konoha with Sakura? His head somehow tricked him into thinking that things between him and Sakura were getting somewhere again. The past month had gone so well - almost no quarrels, they spent more quality time together.

He could have sworn she felt it too. Guess not, otherwise she'd put at least some effort to plan logistics with him after killing Itachi.

"Damn her!" he yelled. He could live the past decade without her, so he could continue doing so. It was different, though. Not having something in the first place isn't half as bad as having it ripped away from you and having to continue living without it.

His mind kept going back to their argument. She seemed so... angry? So direct. She wanted to go home, he couldn't blame her for that. *We could have built a new home,* he thought, defeated.

*Whatever. She was just a distraction from my greater plan, just like she would have been if I had taken her with me those years ago.*

He suddenly felt validated. This experience showed him that things would have gone south even if Sakura was with him all along. *She probably would have felt contempt for me for taking her away from Konoha just to be with me, just like now. It would have been harder for me to focus on preparing for the battle - just like now."

He got out of the shower, and sure enough, there was no trace of Sakura. His heart sank a little, as he walked into his bedroom. Her clothes from last night were still on the floor. He picked up the torn sundress. It smelled like her. He threw it back down, and sat on the bed. He spent the next thirty seconds staring at the wall, a couple tears rolling down his cheeks for the first time in ten years.

Sakura cried the whole way home. When she first started crying, she could not explain why. This was a good thing, almost her ideal outcome. She forced herself to celebrate, which only resulted in more tears. Then, she started crying because she couldn't stop crying. She felt embarrassed, conflicted and weak.

Could she not control her emotions? Crying for what? Seemingly nothing. He finally realized what she knew all along - they had no future, and finding another medic would have been a better solution for everyone.

Her tears naturally stopped when she approached Konoha. *No one can see me like this. This is enough - I'm happy to be home. No, I really am!* she repeated to herself.

"Sakura-chan?" Of course the guards recognized her. She smiled and walked past the Konoha gates.

The rest of the day was a blur. She couldn't count how many hugs she got from Ino, Naruto, Hinata, and everyone else.

She spent hours at Tsunade's office, explaining what had happened to her. Hearing that she was kidnapped by Sasuke shocked everyone. She had to explain why she couldn't escape, and that she didn't know anything about the hideout's location. That was a blatant lie.

She had a hard time convincing everyone that she wasn't hurt. No one quite understood why she was released so unexpectedly, either. They seemed to believe her when she swore Sasuke never mentioned any plans of attacking the village. That eased some tension in the room.

When she was alone with Tsunade, she mentioned what Sasuke had said about Danzo. Hokage, unwilling to entertain any of it at first, eventually promised to investigate the claims further.

It was a long day. She was finally told to go home and get some rest. Kakashi and Guy sensei were assigned to research Sakura's curse mark. Tsunade categorized it more as a weapon and less as poison, which means Kakashi had better odds of finding a way to counter it.

Naruto refused to let Sakura walk home alone.

"The Queen has finally come home!" he giggled, accompanying her on the way home. "I missed you, we all did! Ino said you just disappeared, no blood on the battlefield! We thought it was the Akatsuki or something!"

Sakura walked silently next to him.

"I have to ask, Sakura-chan, what was he like?" Sasuke leaving Konoha affected Naruto in his own way, too. He lost his best friend and rival at once. However, Naruto felt more anger than anything else - anger that Sasuke threw away their entire friendship for some phoney power. He had no problem forgetting about his existence - unlike Sakura.

"He was... taller," the slightest smile appeared on her face. "Stronger. Much stronger than most people we have here."

Naruto was surprised by this response. "But was he mean? Was he violent? Are you sure he didn't hurt you?"

"He was surprisingly gentle," she tried to conceal the tremble in her voice. "Look, can we talk about something else? I'm back and that's all that matters."

"I hope you know I'm staying over tonight!" he announced, grinning. "Can't have that maniac near you again."

"I don't think we need to worry about that any time soon... " Sakura whispered, walking into her apartment, leaving Naruto outside.

She got into the bed. She spent all night staring at the ceiling. She couldn't believe she had work the next day.