Ripples In The World

Chapter 3 - Ocean Glow

Edited ~ Stage 2 

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I was tired but I couldn't sleep I was too nervous and excited for my birthday tomorrow and for Katashi to show up tonight. I hadn't seen him since the happenings at the bridge two days ago so I'm not sure if he knows about my engagement to Nanuq or not. I was worried about telling him. Something inside me didn't want to tell him though; I didn't want to admit it was true; I didn't want to lose him. But I wanted to tell him before everyone found out at the banquet tomorrow. I had so many conflicted feelings that were curdling my emotions. Do I follow the duty to my people over the duty to my heart?

I sat in my thick fur-lined coat with my knees brought up to my chest trying to hide from the harsh winter night in my own comfort. I was in the same place where Katashi and I always trained; at the edge of town beyond the wall. You could only get here by bending through the wall which kept it a secret and kept us unfound. Suddenly the ice shifted and a figure emerged. I jumped at the sight, excitement beginning to flood away my loneliness.

He stood in the tunnel through the wall he had made and summoned me over. By this time my eyes had adjusted to the darkness with the help of the half-moon and the light it graced the ice with so I could tell it was definitely Katashi. I walked over to him quickly and he grabbed my hand and pulled me back through the wall, closing it behind him whispering, "come on I've found a place."

Excitement filled my being mirroring his enthusiasm and giddiness ran through my veins as I thought about his hand holding mine. His hand was cold from being outside and mine was warm from being tucked into my sleeves as I waited making the touch that much more noticeable. Even though his skin was cold his presence gave me sense of warmth like no other. I tried not to stare at him noticeably as I took in his features as we ran through the streets, almost like ninja's just like when we were kids playing pretend. But we weren't kids anymore. Tomorrow I would be sixteen just like Katashi. Tomorrow my engagement will be announced. Tomorrow I could no longer play pretend...

The reality that I was not going to be a child any longer as of tomorrow made me notice that Katashi already wasn't a child. He had turned sixteen months ago. As I looked at his features I suddenly no longer saw the cute bright blue eyed boy I'd played make believe with for so many years; I saw a handsome and caring young man. The world we were running past became nothing but a blur and all I could see was Katashi. His strong chiselled jaw line but slightly chubby cheeks from all the rice cakes we eat. His amazing smile that made his eyes gleam with the happiness of a child, still the same as always. How his short dark brown hair was always tussled but a single strand was never out of place because he looked good regardless of how his hair was. His golden brown skin just like mine that made him look so sweet and so real. And lastly his eyes that held the life of the ocean but wonder of the skies, which I could surely get lost in if I was given the chance. He was perfect with all his differences and likenesses. He was my best friend; my present and past. If only he could be more of my future...

Katashi began to slow down and I snapped back to reality. I suddenly realised we had gone high above the City to the tundra above. Katashi had brought me to a ledge away from everyone else and above the ocean. All I could hear was the deep breathing of Katashi and I and the swoosh and crash of the ocean below. Near the ledge there was a large Elk-Bear skin laid out and a picnic basket on top with a blanket. I hadn't noticed Katashi was still holding my hand until he let go to start unpacking the basket. He pulled out two wrapped up parcels and a bowl of seal Jerky as I sat down on the skin next to him. He unwrapped one of the parcels to reveal a still hot bowl of seaweed noodles with arctic hen bits and handed it to me, "My favourite! You remembered," I smiled softly as I inhaled the decadent aroma making my mouth water.

"Of course I did! And I made it myself too so I hope you like it," he chuckled lightly as he unwrapped his parcel to reveal a hot bowl of seaweed noodles and crab bits: his favourite.

I slurped up the noodles feeling comfortable in front of Katashi to do so and subsequently started a slurping contest. He won, finishing his bowl at least two mouthfuls before I did. "That was amazing Katashi, thank you." I beamed at him once I was finished, with seaweed in my teeth. He laughed at me grinning with his own green littered smile. Things had always been like this between us; it didn't matter that I was of regal status; around him I wasn't and didn't need to act like it. We were perfectly comfortable in our own skins when we were together and I think that is one of life's most valuable treasures.

We began to eat the seal jerky as we stared out into the distant ocean. The half-moon sat off to the left causing the ocean to capture and reflect its pure glow all at once. As I watched the waves roll around and the light shine from its surface it looked as if they were talking to one another: the moon and the ocean. It was their only means of communication as they were separated from one another. It was sad, beautiful and lovely to watch; I was completely captivated. That was until I went to grab for another piece of jerky only to find none left as well as Katashi's hand. My gaze broke from the ocean and snapped to our touching hands then slowly up to his face which was looking right at me. I blushed uncontrollably and turned away for a moment.

"That was all amazing Katashi, thank you so much." I gushed trying to distract myself.

"The pleasure was all mine Umi, I'm glad you liked it," he smiled at me trying to look around my shoulder and catch my eyes again.

"Gosh good looking, can cook well and charming? Who knew-" at the end of my sentence I was cut off. As I had turned to look back at him he had quickly moved forward and gently placed his lips on mine. I was frozen and my eyes were wide in slight shock not knowing what to do as my body lit up like a bonfire. He kept the kiss light and I finally returned it, closing my eyes and deepening the kiss in the process. My hand rose up to his face as I drew my body closer to him and one of his hands placed itself on my waist pulling me in. It was amazing, my body buzzed all over and I felt fizzy in my head. Suddenly a cool smooth surface touched my skin near my neck and I broke away from the kiss.

"Katashi, I, I," I looked at him and my heart broke. His eyes looked at me with such compassion and love I couldn't utter a word. I was breath taken by how this boy has made me feel. But the coolness of the stone on my neck crept its way into my heart and I felt it break.

"I should go," I smiled softly trying to hide the pain I was in, "it's getting late..." I trailed off and rose to my feet slowly feeling a new crack form every move I made away from him.

"Before you go though," Katashi still beaming and eyes full of passion rose to his knee and faced me.

My heart leapt out of my chest and I begged the universe to make him continue standing up but he didn't. I could feel the tears brewing in my eyes painfully as my heart beat faster than I could run and shattered all at the same time. My soul was dying where I stood as he reached for his pocket.

"Katashi..." I whispered as the tears welled, wavering my voice.

He looked up at me and his eyes changed to worry as they met mine, his mouth opened to ask if I was okay only for me to beat him to it. "Katashi I can't okay. I just can't." I turned away from him to walk away but he grabbed my arm and turned me around to face him. His mouth was a gape clearly unsure of what to say and his eyes were a mix of sadness and worry that I never wished to see in his beautiful eyes again.

He leant in a kissed me again; unsure of if it was my feelings that were making me leave, wondering if I loved him. I kissed him back as the tear continued to fall and I grabbed his face gently before pulling away slowly. "Katashi, I love you with all my heart but I can't be with you and I'm sorry," I looked into his eyes still holding his face. As the words sank in the emotions evident in his eyes deepened further.

"Why?" He breathed out his voice husky from holding back tears of his own.

I removed one hand from his face and pulled back the fur of my coat from around my neck to reveal the betrothal necklace from Nanuq. "I'm engaged to Nanuq. My father arranged it. It was him who I was upset with the day you saw me on the bridge. I'm so, so, sorry. I wish it weren't true." My voice broke and I looked down as the tears cascaded vigorously down my face catching the slight cold breeze and sending chills down my spine.

Katashi grabbed my chin lightly and guided me to his lips again. But I couldn't it was too painful I pulled away and ran off hearing him whisper, "I love you too..." from behind me.