Ripples In The World

Chapter 8 - The After Effect

                  

The song above I found seems to fit perfectly with the first part of this chapter so if you'd like play it when you read it. Thanks for reading. Feedback?

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I sat there, nothing but my arms and a thin dress around me as the fierce winds of the dying winter berated my bare skin. I sat where I had so many times before, waiting. Just waiting... For someone. Anyone. But this time no one was coming. No one was ever coming for me ever again.

They say everything is easier once you say goodbye, but I didn't feel that way at all. Saying goodbye was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. And how could I possibly do it when everything here reminds me of them? The room I sleep in, it's across the hall from hers: or what was her room. The streets that I walk; the ones that only last week, were strewn with debris, I used to walk them beside him.

I've lost them both: both my best friends, both my loves: my sister and my childhood sweetheart. My childhood ended with the light in his eyes. The war wasn't make-believe anymore; the war was no longer something of stories to my people. It was real. Very real, and it had killed my family.

Because of all this I have decided to leave: to escape the memories, the pain and to stop playing make-believe. It was also to protect my people. The Fire Nation believes I'm the next Avatar, which to be honest I don't blame them for thinking so: all the evidence is there. I'm a female waterbender, I bonded with the spirits, I mean I had single handily driven out the Fire Nation from my home for crying out loud. If some had tried to explain this to me I would have thought them to be crazy but I remembered it all. Every moment, every feeling, and the only explanation I could think of was the fact that part of the Ocean Spirit lives inside me and for that brief moment, a moment of such intense grief and rage, I'd given it back. I wasn't the Avatar, at least as far as I knew I couldn't control the four elements. What I was sure of however, was that this absurd notion the Fire Nation had conjured up was putting my people in danger.

I need to be strong, I need to forget. I need to be more like Yue... and put my people first. Her name pulls on my heart strings and pierced my thoughts but I have to hold on. Tomorrow I will selflessly leave my home and all I know to protect my people form the Fire Nation.

No, that's a lie, it wasn't selfless; I wanted to leave: I'm selfishly running away from my pain.

I looked up at the cloud covered moon, my sister, and silently asked for her guidance and forgiveness as a stray tear slipped from my grasp and reminded me that I was still here, still real, still sitting in the snow.

Tomorrow I would say goodbye.

Tomorrow I would move on.

*****

"You don't have to go you know. We can protect ourselves from the Fire Nation." My Father looked at me sadly but spoke proudly of our Nation's ability.

"Dad, they think I'm the Avatar. If I stay they will do everything universally possible to take me from this place, including hurting you and everyone left that I still care about. If I'm not here at least they can leave you alone once they find out. Everyone is safer if I leave." I spoke confidently in a soft way, trying to hide how nervous I was about my departure.

"I'm very proud of you Umiko," he knew there was no changing my mind, "You and Yue both." He hugged me tightly and I breathed in the scent of the North Pole: the sea food, the snow and the ocean saltiness.

"I know you are dad," my voice cracked as the tears started to form and my face contorted into an involuntary frown no matter how hard I tried.

"Your mother and I knew the both of you were special form the moment we held you in our arms. You will make a big difference to this world Umi, even if you don't know how," he pushed me back and I looked up at him with a teary smile," I can see it in your eyes. Just don't forget who you are out there Umiko, no matter what you do or have done. Most importantly don't forget you will always be welcome home no matter what." He hugged me tightly one last time before stepping back and allowing Master Pakku to bid farewell.