Dreamer

Chapter 4: His Laugh Was My Favorite Thing About Him

*FOUR MONTHS LATER*

Jamie sat at his desk staring at his window in front of him. He felt numb. It felt like his heart had been crushed. His eyes were red and his throat hurt. Jamie had been crying on and off for twenty four hours. He couldn't sleep and it hit him hard as his eyes felt heavy. Jamie slowly picked up his phone and unlocked it, going to his messages. His thumb hovered over the text message thread between himself and his grandad. As his eyes welled up, Jamie tapped on the thread. With teary eyes, he started to read over past messages.

Grandad: Hows your day going kiddo?

Me: Going ok. Im on the school coach on our way back to school from PE

Grandad: Good, hope you had better luck at footie

Me: Leicester city didnt win again?

Grandad: Unfortunately not maybe next time

Me: Maybe nxt time

Grandad: Yeah. Have fun at school shrimp

Me: Haha ok :)

Reading those few messages made the tears roll down Jamie's cheeks. Jamie was never into football. He didn't like it or other sports. But he had one exception, and that was his grandad. From time to time, football was brought up in their conversations. Not often since the man knew Jamie wasn't a huge football fan but Jamie would show interest in the team his grandad supported. Leicester was where his grandad was born so he always supported them in football. Because it was meaningful for him, Jamie wanted to see them succeed just like his grandad. Despite not really being into football, it was the little things like talking about football from time to time is what Jamie would miss amongst many other things.

It didn't feel real to him. Like this was a nightmare to Jamie, a very cruel nightmare that didn't seem to end. To never see the man he was so attached to no more. To never hear his warm voice. And his laugh. It was so contagious and came from the guts. It lifted everyone's mood to hear that man. Now, that laugh was gone along with the greatest man on Earth in the eyes of Jamie.

Jamie set his phone down, unable to look at any more messages. He stood up, went over to his bed and flopped down onto it. Jamie rolled onto his side and curled up. All Jamie wanted in that moment was to be absorbed by the world and for his pain to leave him. He wanted to be anywhere other than here because the reality hurt too much. There was no concept of time or how much of it went by as there was nothing but silence ringing in his ears. Jamie blinked, slowly. He did it again. Every slow blink he took, the more his mind slipped away until eventually his eyes closed and didn't reopen.

His eyes reopened and everything was different. Jamie recognized where he was. It was the park from his previous dream. He had found his way back as he slowly took his first few steps. Everything was coming back to him and as he walked, he found himself subconsciously walking back to the same place he met his dream friend. In a way, Jamie hoped he would be there but he also didn't know if he could or wanted to face him. As he approached the familiar area, sure enough there he was. Messing around on the park equipment was Chris.

In that moment, Jamie wanted to turn and run. He just couldn't face anyone let alone Chris. It was too much for him. His chest tightened a bit as his breaths got a little quicker. It was too late. Chris saw him and smiled warmly at Jamie. "Hey!" Jamie called, leaving the park area as Jamie stopped in his tracks. Chris walked towards him but slowed down as Jamie took a step back. "Are you okay?" Chris asked, a little confused and stopped approaching Jamie. "N-No I-I..." Jamie stammered, struggling to stop himself from shaking.