In the Shadows of the Past | Levi Ackerman

15

It had been months since I joined the Survey Corps, and in that time, I had grown popular and was recognized everywhere. We had been on three expeditions and were now returning from our fourth. I had already killed 51 Titans solo, earning the title "Humanity's Mightiest" among the people inside the walls. It had a nice ring to it, and I liked it. As a captain, I had grown, earning the respect of my comrades. My story had spread—how I Graduated earlier from the trainings Corps and became a captain in just twelve days after.

Eren and I had kept in contact. I visited him whenever I could, and we grew closer, although he still didn't know I was his older sister. Sometimes, I wanted to tell him, but I didn't know how. You can't just say, "I'm your big sister" out of the blue. My hair had grown long, making it exhausting to fight with, but I always braided it tightly or tied it in a ponytail to keep it manageable in battle.

News of my exploits had spread, even in the underground. People said I was on par with Captain Levi, humanity's strongest. Some even said I was stronger, though others disagreed, insisting that a woman couldn't be stronger than a man. I had grown closer to my grandparents, visiting them whenever I could. I also formed bonds with the high-ranking officers—except for Levi. He and I still argued a lot. He thought I was too delicate to be a soldier, which made my blood boil.

As we rode our horses and neared Wall Maria, I thought about visiting Eren after this expedition. The ride had been long and tiring, but the sight of the wall in the distance filled me with a sense of accomplishment. We had survived another mission, and I was eager to see Eren again.

Erwin, riding ahead of us, turned slightly to address the group. "We'll be at Wall Maria shortly. Everyone, stay alert until we're safely inside."

The group acknowledged his command, and I focused on the path ahead. Despite the fatigue, I felt a sense of pride and determination. I was making a difference, and that was what mattered.

As we made it inside Wall Maria and rode through the streets of Shiganshina, I caught sight of Eren, Mikasa, and Armin, their faces lit with excitement. Yet, I didn't meet their gazes just yet. Leading my horse beside me, I approached Erwin.

"I'm staying here," I told him. He didn't look at me but hummed in acknowledgment.

"I will leave Daisy with you as I'm heading to Wall Sina after this. I promised my grandparents I'd visit them after the expedition," I said. He nodded, still focused on the front.

"Why don't you give your horse to one of your comrades?" he asked, not breaking his gaze.

"You know how she acts. She doesn't trust anyone, not even you. But she does behave a little better with you," I chuckled. He nodded again as I handed him Daisy's reins, holding her face gently. "Behave while I'm gone," I whispered to her before walking away.

I made my way to my mother's grave, a familiar field that was green and expansive. The big tree stood out in the distance as I approached, my hands in my pockets, the weight of my ODM gear at my hips feeling like a part of me.

Standing before her grave, I stopped. I had grown as a person, but expressing my feelings was still difficult. Maybe it was my way of protecting my peace. My insomnia hadn't changed much—I might get one more hour of sleep than I used to, but the black eye bags were still there, barely noticeable unless someone paid extra attention.

I didn't know what to say to her. I'd been feeling so numb, even though I had people around me who cared. Letting out a sigh, I dropped my head, staring at my boots with a bit of dirt on them. What was missing in my life that made me feel so numb? Was it because I didn't talk about my emotions, locking them away for so long? Or because I tried to protect everyone, feeling guilty for my past actions? Maybe it was the way people saw me—a weapon against the Titans. I always felt like a weapon. Maybe this was my purpose in life, the reason I was born—to be a weapon.