5 Days of Rock bottomness

We Promise (Day 5)

Frank's POV

The suspense was killing me. From the moment I had woken up and was unable to find Gerard, I had been frantic for information. His almost confession to being suicidal rang in the back of my mind. I was the first one up but I had shaken Ray out of his sleep. I was confused as to why he was asleep in the armchair but he told me that he had been keeping an eye on Gerard. At that, I got angry because obviously, Gerard wasn't here anymore. Ray was surprised at that information and he looked around frantically before checking his phone. The sigh of relief he let out was enough to calm me down for a moment.

"He's fine, he's with Jerry. I'm just confused as to why and also why i'm getting this text from Brian." He said. Soon after that, when Jerry and Gerard walked in, we were all up and Mikey looked like he was getting more anxious by the second. I felt bad for him.

Gerard looked extremely tired and he was a mess. He only made eye contact with me once but once he did, he quickly looked away. I wanted to blurt out all my questions right away but I could see that he wasn't up to talking. Jerry had walked him right over to his bed and he stripped his shirt off before climbing in and collapsing. I knew something bad had happened. Jerry told us that Gerard would explain when he woke up.

Now, it's about 1 pm, we decided not to move the bus today because we didn't have to perform until friday and it was only tuesday. I hear a few coughs from the bunk room and my attention snaps over in that direction. Everybody else has noticed as well. I'm just in time to see Gerard struggle out of his bed. He still looks like shit. He probably knows that we're all watching him but he doesn't look. He's probably still thinking of what kind of explanation he's going to give us. He pulls out his suitcase and finds fresh clothes to wear, then he disappears into the bathroom. We hear the shower turn on.

I want to know what happened in the time he disappeared but I'm scared to know the answer. We soon hear the shower turn off and then a few minutes later, a fully dressed Gerard walks out.

Gerard's POV

I let the warm water rushing over my body put me into a relaxed state. The prospect of having to walk out of the bathroom and sit and actually talk made me want to throw up again but I knew that it would just be gross bile that would burn my throat. I still hadn't thought of a way to not make it awkward. After all, I was going to tell my best friends that I had almost killed myself after passing out in the middle of the street from a very near overdose on cocaine.

I give up on trying to make a plan and step out of the shower, pulling on my clothes without drying off. I look in the mirror and automatically, my eyes snap to the bottles of pills on the shelf behind me. My breath catches in my throat as I start grabbing all the pill bottles and setting them on the counter. I had gotten more since the first time Ray got rid of them. I know that if I take anymore drugs anytime soon, I could die. My body would not be able to handle that much. I look at my hand and discover that it's shaking. Picking up the first bottle, I pull the lid off and quickly empty the contents into the toilet before setting the bottle aside. The other pills meet the same fate.

When they are all empty, I gather up all the empty bottles and take a deep breath before exiting the bathroom. Mikey, Ray and Bob are sitting at the table and Frank is sprawled across the couch, flipping through the tv channels. Everyone turns to stare at me. I walk over to the table and drop all the bottles. Mikey tenses up and Ray's eyes go wide.

"Gerard, what did you do?!" Mikey says in a tone of voice that says I'm scaring the living shit out of him. I open my mouth to explain but I am cut off by Ray.

"Oh my God! You didn't take all of these did y0u?!" Bob and Ray jump up, Bob grabs me from behind, holding my arms down, Ray tries shoving his fingers down my throat, presumably to make me throw up. I make gagging noises and throw my head to the side to get his fingers out of my mouth and immediately start coughing. I sink to my knees.