Naruto the Child Rearing Badass

Chapter 1

I have no excuse.

Random idea popped into my head before I went to bed.

Don't blame me for this.

Da-Bu!

Demon of Kuoh.

Once upon a time, there lived a young, kind hearted young man who was extremely handsome.

"NOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

Blonde hair with red highlight.

"YAAAAAAAHHHH!!!"

Blue eyes.

"UAAAAAAAHHH!!!"

Whiskers-like birthmark.

"EEEEEEEPPPP!!!"

Cool.

"MERCYYYYYY!!!"

Popular.

"MOMMYYYYY!!!!"

Really respected by everyone.

"...Die...Uzumaki..."

I mean, really respected by everyone.

That's who he was, Uzumaki Naruto, a kind-hearted young man kicking a pair of balls without regard for the owner.

"*&*$$^*!!!!!!"

At the riverbank of Kuoh Town, bodies of delinquents from other schools were laid on top of one another as Naruto grinned.

"Everyone bow down to me!!" Said Naruto as he cackled evilly at the battered and bruised delinquents before his phone's alarm rang.

"Tsk." The blue-eyed teenager clicked his tongue in annoyance as he looked at his phone. "Look at what you did!" Roared Naruto angrily and the boys flinched.

They feared that the Uzumaki would really end them this time.

"You made me miss the super sale at the supermarket!"

The 'victims' sweatdropped, thinking that they were worried for nothing only for Naruto to continue.

"Maybe I should hurt you all more for that!"

"Meep!"

"Mercy!!"

"Take him first, please!"

"Let me prepare myself!"

Naruto rolled his arm before picking the thug under his foot.

He grinned savagely, showing his fangs at the shuddering boy.

"M-Mercy?"

Naruto blinked before a very kind smile appeared on his face.

The delinquent sighed in relief believing that he would get away safely before–

"Squeal!" A fist rocketed at his face, courtesy of Naruto.

"Eeeeeeppp!!" 

Girlish screams filled the riverbank.

Da-Bu!

Naruto wiped his forehead with a content look as the river was now bloody red, unfortunately...sorry, fortunately, none of them died as they were now doing a dogeza at him.

"We really are sorry for going overboard there..." muttered one of the delinquents with a moustache looking like an old man. "You see, you, the legendary invincible Uzumaki of Kuoh Academy, were just sleeping so defenselessly that we...couldn't help but think that it was our chance to..."