Two Night Stand

Chapter 1

"Loosing all hope
was freedom."
- fight club

     Why did I even ever think that it would be a good idea to get married at 23?

I got to know that the real name for a hashtag is an octothorpe just around a year ago.

I despise and yell at myself for what feels like the millionth time in these past six months.

Silently, in my head, of course.

He was praising that I was the love of his life one minute and the next he was spitting in my face, exclaiming how boring and dull I am and that he can't find even a little bit of self dignity in me.

"I pity you!" I remember he had yelled at me the day before. His spit flying all over my face.

Well and then he left. Without even saying goodbye to me.

I came home that day from my wedding dress shopping with my mom, only to find out his side of the shelves and closet empty. I ended up on the floor, hyperventilating and crying for help, with my mom holding me.

Not one of my finest moments.

Next day, when I went to work with him as my boss, he had said a polite "good morning" and nodded his head at me, which later made me not being able to come out of the bathroom for half an hour.

He just pretended like I was one of his many employees.

5 years down the drain. Just like that.

For the first month, I cried myself to sleep every night, not being able to pull myself together.

And then, just when I was starting to feel somewhat better, life decided to knock me down completely. If before I was clinging on a tiny string of hope, then now, even that was gone.

I lost my mom to a drunk driver.

My favorite person in the whole world.

Losing her made me be all alone.

I am an only child and my father hasn't been in my life since I was 5 years old.

I was about to visit her that day when the accident happened, because I had rescheduled our coffee date the day before.

I only rescheduled to stay at home and feel sorry for myself.

"I can't come today" was the last words I ever said to her over the phone.

I would do anything to turn back time, so that I could see her, be with her, hear her voice and feel her warm hug one more time.

If only I could tell her how much I miss her.

I saw my father at the funeral for the first time in all those years. And he was there with his new wife. If it wouldn't be for Eden, who was my cousin but also my longest friend, I would have smashed both of their heads against one another.

Later he had offered me to stay with him and his new wife.

"We are always traveling, a change of scenery would be good for you!" I remember him saying and patting me on my back.

I had to turn around, get into my car and drive away before I do something I would regret.

"Mom wouldn't be proud!" I kept repeating to myself, not realizing that I had long passed the exit to my apartment.

All those years, my mom spent working 12 hours, sometimes even more, just so that I could have everything I ever wanted, go to every school I wanted. And he didn't even care to help by giving us his money, which he was full of.