Two Night Stand

Chapter 4

"Every time a man yells
you are seven years old again"
- Clementine von Radics

      Guilt comes only after.

I wonder the streets like a lost puppy.

Eden had talked me into her coming with me.

She is quietly walking a few steps behind me at all times.

"Fuck, I can't take this anymore!" She exclaims from the back and I am surprised she lasted this long.

"Did he hurt you or something?" She puts her hand on my shoulder and I turn around to face her.

"No, no! Really, no," I say, "it was actually kind of amazing."

I smile to myself, but only for a split second before I am back to anxiously twisting my bracelet.

Eden looks even more confused than before.

"It was so amazing that it makes me want to do it again!" I tell her and she smirks.

"You are full of surprises, aren't you?" She winks at me and I playfully hit her arm.

"I mean is it because of Tobias or is it because this feels like a good thing for you right now?" She gets serious again.

"See, that's what I am trying to understand as well."

We sit at the nearest bench.

"I thought about both of them only once the whole night, I was truly having fun and enjoying myself." I say quietly.

"But you still feel bad?"

I nod in agreement.

"Could it be because you feel guilty for having fun?" She pulls me in for a hug even before I can answer.

A tear escapes my eyes.

"My sweet girl." Eden whispers in my hair and I squeeze her hand in mine.

"I think you should just go with the flow and do whatever feels like a good thing for you at the moment." I hear her saying.

"And be a whore?" I chuckle.

"I've done it once or twice in my life as well, I think all of us need to have our little moment." She shrugs her shoulders and looks very proud of her answer, which makes me laugh more.

"Why could only guys do it and then it all gets forgotten when they find themselves a good girl? But when a girl does it they go screaming like it's the end of the world." She shakes her hand in disappointment.

"Being a woman is a curse!" I say and we both nod.

"Will you come with me this weekend?"

"I have to study for my exams, babe!" She gives me a sad smile.

Eden studies medicine, so it feels like her school is for twenty years.

"Well, I am not going alone." I cross my arms over my chest.

"Don't be silly now. At least without me there you won't need to compete." She shows me her tongue and lifts me up from the bench.