Sweet Boy (rarl)

Vol. 13 | More Than Anything

Sophomore year
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Carl sat at the school cafeteria table with his friends. He was quiet, which was typical for him lately. Everything had been going just fine until he caught the attention of Ron Anderson. He was, of course, the school bully. He had seemed to avoid Carl up until about a month ago. Now Carl was his main target.

He partially listened to Enid as she talked about the upcoming prom when he felt the unmistakable feeling of being watched. He turned around to see exactly what he was afraid of. Ron's eyes were fixed on him as he sat across the cafeteria. Carl turned back around quickly, hoping Ron hadn't noticed him looking back. His hopes were short lived when he heard and all too familiar "hey." from behind him. He took a nervous breath and turned to face the boy.

"Do you have a problem, pussy?" He asked.
"I.." Carl whispered, not sure what to say.
"I saw you staring at me. Don't fucking lie. What do you want?" He continued.
"Leave him alone, asshole." Enid demanded, getting real tired of him. "No one was talking to you, bitch." He replied before turning his attention back to Carl. Enid scoffed, trying to think of how to get him to leave.

"Go ahead. Tell me why you keep staring. Because I think I know." He said, smiling at the end. "I.. you were looking at me. That's why I looked over." Carl finally admitted.
"Bullshit. Why the fuck would I do that? I don't want to look at you, Carl, trust me. I can't think of anything much worse, actually." He declared. Carl turned back around, his eyes fixed on his plate. Tears welled up as he tried his best not to cry, albeit unsuccessfully.
"It's ok Carl. Just ignore him. He's just trying to make you upset." Sophia said gently, rubbing his back.

Enid turned to yell at Ron, only to find the boy completely gone.

———

Now

Ron and Carl both moved closer to each other, Ron's lips by Carl's ear. "It's... there's no way to make it sound good so I'm just gonna say it. I've got a rape thing." He admitted in a whisper. Carl sat up and looked at him silence for a moment. "You're going to have to have elaborate on that a little more, sweetie." He said softly.

"I.. let me just get this out of the way. I would never, ever, ever do something like that to anyone. I will never do anything that could even resemble that to you or anyone else." He started. "I know. I never even thought that. I just want to tell me what you like." He replied, not feeling any less safe than he did ten minutes ago.

"Ok.. I think it's a control thing, you know?"
"Yeah. So you like.. think about it?"
"No.. well kind of. I don't know. It feels gross to say that I do. Like i should go to jail."
"Ron.. I doubt you're the first person to ever feel like that. There's millions of people who fantasize about that stuff. You shouldn't be so hard on yourself." He spoke gently before he kissed his cheek. "You think so?" He asked.
"I know so." He answered with a soft smile.

The two leaned in and kissed each other.
"I love you." Ron whispered.
"I love you too." Carl replied softly.

"It's all pretend, you know?" He claimed quietly. "Of course." He said. "I don't think about all the time.. just so you know." He added. "It's ok, Ron. It doesn't bother me. I know you're not going to do it. Maybe we can pretend sometime. After we're a little more.. experienced I guess." He suggested, kissing his cheek again. "Really? You'd want to?" He asked, his eyes lit up now. "Yeah. Why not?" He smiled softly. Ron smiled back and hugged him tight. "You're the best." He declared.
"I know." He said happily as the hugged.