Love, Sorry (IDBIHES#1)

CHAPTER TWO

(2012-2013)

Sobrang daming nagbago matapos ang taon na iyon. Lalo na ang huling napag-usapan namin ni Reinz.

I clearly explained to Reinz how I felt about him. I let him know that I wasn't ready for something I had no idea about. He understood me, and thankfully, he respected my decision. And after that, umiiwas na nga siya sa akin. That was fine with me kasi wala naman akong nakikitang rason para magpansinan pa kaming dalawa.

Then one day, Rena told me na sina Chim at Gelbert ay naghiwalay na. They didn’t go into detail about what happened, but I remember Chim told me that they broke up because there were things they hadn’t talked about properly. I asked how she felt after the breakup, and she told me that it was painful and that she was afraid to love again because of what happened.

I can’t deny that I suddenly put myself in her situation.

What if it happened to me? Would I surely get hurt from our breakup?

Would I regret getting into that relationship?

Would I be happy because we’re no longer together?

Hindi ko talaga alam kung ano ang mangyayari sa akin kung papasok ako sa isang relasyon.

But one thing I know and can be sure of is that I am not ready. I am not ready to get hurt, to be happy because of someone, and even more, I am not ready to make someone feel whether they are special in my life or not.

So I really don’t regret telling Reinz how I truly feel. At least, right? His feelings for me wouldn’t linger because I didn’t give him any reason to hope. Because when a person sees hope, they will do things to make the person they like feel that there’s a reason for them to hold on. At ayaw ko nun kasi magiging mali ang desisyon ko kapag nagkataon.

So during our summer vacation, I did nothing but hang out in my room and read books. Sometimes, Rena and Chim would visit me at home so we could go out together.

Nothing much special happened during our vacation except for the days I spent with my friends.

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MONTHS PASSED, and the school year started again. We were now sophomores. I thought that on the first day of school I wouldn’t have Rena and Chim as classmates anymore, but thankfully, I still had them. However, hindi ko na kaklase sina Gelbert at Reinz. So I only saw him occasionally when he passed by the hallway with his friends.

We also had some new classmates, some of whom were from the other section last year (Kay Ms. Lopez). I thought that nothing special would happen that year except for achieving high grades so I could still be part of the achievers in the class.

On our first day of school, we elected officers. Iyon naman ang nakasanayan natin, right? My classmates from freshman year nominated me as the class secretary. I was nervous because I really didn’t know how to handle a section as one of the classroom officers. Pero ginagawa ko naman lahat ng best ko.

Then it reached a point where we became comfortable with our new classmates, and we gradually added more friends. I met Janine and Maria, who eventually became our friends too. That’s when I realized that it’s actually better to have many friends, but of course, you also have to consider whether they are genuine or not. Hindi madaling mapunta sa circle of friends na puno ng ka-toxican.

But as they say, kung may mawawala, may dadating. It wasn’t a literal loss, but we lost one member. Rena. Her family encountered a big problem, and it led to her parents’ separation. Because they were struggling financially, Rena’s mother decided that they would move to their province. Their province was very far away, so she had to stop her studies. Tapos ako?