It had been a few days since I talked to Ronin in the hallway. I missed him terribly, but I knew keeping my distance was best for the both of us. I sat in my witches hut working on spells. When my father died my mother made the the head dark witch. I was now the leader of our coven and I truly loved it. Rio wasn't the biggest fan of my magic but he didn't try to stop me from it. I was feeling misserable about my life, I knew I had to go meet Rio for lunch but I was dreading it. Anytime I had to be around him I felt like I was going to pass out. I think it was the feeling of guilt. I felt guilty that I didn't love him and guilty that I wanted Ronin. I stand up and shut my spell book. I can't think about that right now, my mind goes to places I do not like.
I walked into the dining room and see Rio sitting there "Sorry my dear, I lost track of time" I lie and sit down next to him. He looks up at me "That is fine" he says slowly and watches me sit. "So how has your day been?" I ask trying to start a conversation. "It has been fine" He replies and goes back to eating. I take a sip of my drink hoping he will say something else but he just stays silent. We sit and finish our meal in silence, once he is done he stands up. "That was lovely, I will see you later darling" he leans down and kisses my cheek. "Perhaps we can try for a child soon?" he asks then nods at me and walks out.
I sat there and said nothing. My skin felt like ice after he kissed my cheek. I felt like I was going to puke and cry at the same time. He wanted children? What the hell? Before I knew it I was crying at the table. "Faith? Are you ok?" I hear Evelyn say as she walks into the room. She walks over and rubs my back "what's wrong?" she asks. "I-I can't do it anymore" I sob out. "Do what? Talk to me" She sits on the chair next to me and continues to rub my back. "Be with Rio, I can't!" I cry and look at her. Evelyn looks at me stunned "Sister" she whispers "Are you insisting you wish to divorce him?" she asks whispering. I look at her as my tears stream down my cheeks. "Yes" I reply quickly. Evelyn gasps "That is not allowed! Have you spoken to mother?" "No I have not, but I will now" I say standing up. "Oh Faith, be careful" Evelyn cautioned as I walked out of the room.
I walk into my mothers study and see her sitting with Queen Lexi. They both look at me and immediately look concerned when they realize I was crying. "Faith! What is wrong darling?" Mother asks walking over to me and hugging me. Once I felt her arms around me I sob again. "Oh Faith" Lexi says standing up "Whatever it is, it will be ok" she assures me. She looks at my mother "I will give you both some privacy, see you later darling" she smiles then walks out. My mother leads me over to the couch and we both sit. She grabs my hands and looks at me. "Talk to me dearest" she says calmly. I look at her "I-I can't" I whisper and look down. "Faith, I'm not the queen right now. I am your mother, tell me what is wrong" She tells me. I have to do it. I was so scared to tell her but I knew I had to go with my heart. "I wish to divorce Rio. I do not love him" I say then look up at her. She looks stunned and stays quiet for a few moments. "I will not force you to stay in a loveless marriage. You have been married to him long enough, if you were to love him then you would by now" she says comforting me. I hug her as soon as she says that "really? you mean it?" I exclaim. She lets out a small laugh "yes I do" she says then stands up after we hug. "You need to tell Rio dear, that I will not do for you" She informs me. I stand up and nod "Yes" I hesitate "I will do that this evening" I curtsy to her then leave.
Later that evening I was in the library with Rio. He was reading and not speaking to me as usual. "Rio.. we need to talk" I tell him. He continues to read but says nothing "Rio" I exclaim trying to get his attention. He continues to read "Rio" I say again. "Hm" he replies and turns the page. "Rio I would like to talk" I say sternly. He continues to reads and says nothing. "Rio I wish for a divorce!" I blurt out. Oh shit I can't believe I said it like that. He slowly lowers his book and looks at me "You what?" He asks stunned. "I want a divorce. I am not happy and I believe we are not a good match" I explained. Rio sets down his book "Faith I am trying to remain calm. You really wish to divorce me?" He asks again. "Yes" I answer him. "Get away from me" He says quietly. I look at him and slowly get up "Rio, are you sure?" I ask wanting to see if he needed closure. "Get out!" He screams at me. "Ok" I reply and turn around and run out of the room.
I felt so free! I couldn't help but smile. I was no longer attached to the worlds most boring man. I ran out into the garden and looked for Ronin. I had to tell him. I had nothing else on my mind but him. I finally see him by the fountain "Ronin!" I holler at him. He quickly turns and looks at me "Faith?" He hollers back. I run over to him "Ronin I am getting a divorce!" I exclaim. He looks at me and smiles softly. "What? How?" He asks. "Mother allowed it. I'm free! I no longer have to bear that boring a man" I cheered. Ronin smiled at me "Congratulation Princess".
"Ronin I feel so alive right now" I say and fan myself. I look up at him and I want to kiss him so bad, but I knew it was the wrong time. He chuckles "You deserve this princess" he tells me. I stop fanning myself "Ronin I love you. I want to be with you, you are always on mind. I wake up and you're the first thing on my mind. When I lay in bed falling asleep you are on my mind again. You make me happy, when I'm with you I feel like myself. I'm so in love with you" I admitted.
He smiles at me then sudden it goes away "Faith" he pauses. "I can't. I made a oath as a knight and I can not break it" He tells me. "W-what?" I stammered. "You don't mean that" I say as my tears start to come out. "You love me Ronin, I know you do" I whisper. "Faith" He says and I can tell he is trying not to cry. "Say you don't love me. Say it and I will leave. Say It!" I scream at him. He tries to speak but nothing comes out. "Say it!" I scream again. "I can't" He hollers back. "You don't mean that!" I sob out. He throws his sword and helmet on the ground then steps closer to me. "I love you Faith! There is that what you want to hear?" He hollers passionately. "I breathe for you, I wake up for you, I live my life for you. I am in love with YOU!" He confessed yelling. He suddenly wraps his arms around me, pulling me closer than kisses me deeply. I feel myself melt against him as we kiss for the first time. He pulls away "I love you" he whispers then takes a step back "but I can't be with you. I must go" he grabs his sword and helmet then walks away without looking back at me.
"I love you" I sob out and fall to the ground crying. I lean against the fountain and cry. How can this be? He loves me, he admitted that he is in love with me but can't be with me. I don't understand. I sat there trying to wrap my mind around it and I just couldn't.
Ronin was the love of my life, but all in that moment he became the loss of my life.
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