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18 - Reactions

Meanwhile, in Snape's private chambers, the potions master was pacing around his living room.

"Why is this happening?" he muttered to himself. There was a battle raging in his head. This was Harry Potter: the boy he had hated since the day they had set eyes on each other. He looked so much like his father, Snape's worst enemy in school. James Potter. The boy who had made his school days a living hell. And of course, his son just had to become the most famous wizard in Europe. Up until this year he had seen Harry as nothing but a new James, everybody praising the ground he walked on. The Quidditch star. The school hero. But now...

Now he knew that Pot...no Harry, was different than his father. He wasn't some pampered little prince who basked in the attention he received. Snape was finally acknowledging that Harry actually didn't like the attention. The Gryffindor Golden Boy had actually led a difficult life, which only seemed to grow more difficult by the day. The strangest thing of all was what he had heard the Weasley boy say.

"And to think you were actually defending Snape at breakfast. Yeah, Harry, he's a really decent guy."

Harry had defended him to his best friend? A best friend who hated the potions master? Had he really tried to convince his friends that the professor who had made his life a living hell for five years was a decent guy?

Snape was neither deaf nor stupid. He managed to hear conversations with students all the time. He had never once heard even a Slytherin student defend him, and he was their head of house! In fact, he couldn't remember anyone besides professors defend him, and most of the time that was only to prevent students from bad-mouthing another teacher, rather than out of compassion. The only person who had ever seemed to actually like him for who he was, was the headmaster.

Of course. Of course! The only other person who may have had a chance at liking me and he's gone off and gotten himself a death sentence for playing the hero, Snape thought to himself as he huffed angrily. It was lucky for his students that he had cancelled his earlier class, because even he would have been frightened away by the scowl that crossed his face now.

It wasn't that he was desperate for people to like him. Obviously, with all the people he emotionally chased away, that wasn't really a concern for him. He had never had many friends in his childhood or during his schooling. He had long ago learned how to be emotionally independent. He didn't need other people to like him as long as they respected him, even if it was respect based on fear.

But it's still nice... he told himself but then immediately told himself to shut up and stop sounding like one of Dumbledore's speeches.

"Severus, you underestimate people. If you just gave them a chance, I think you might just find yourself pleasantly surprised. After all, it's always nice to have people who care about you."

But Potter didn't care about him, nor did he care about the stupid Gryffindor.

Then why are you stalking around your chambers like you're going to kill something because you found out he's dying? a little voice in his head asked. Snape told his mind to shut the hell up.

He decided to do his little mental exercise that he had been doing since finding out about Harry's home life. Or perhaps he had been doing it since the day the boy had started Hogwarts. Maybe even longer.

All right. Why I hate Harry Potter, he started silently, sitting down on his couch. He's a pampered little prince. Oh yeah, that one doesn't work any more. Okay, he's an arrogant attention seeker. Well, that one isn't exactly true either since he hates attention and has a pretty low self-esteem. He bullied other kids just because he could. Damn, I've heard enough fights outside my classroom door and in the halls to know that the kid is never the one to start the fights and never really bullies. Okay, think, think... all right everyone gives him special treatment because of his fame. Well some of them do! Well, I suppose that's not exactly his fault. But he totally disregards the rules! Not that I didn't break a fair share of rules in my day. Oh come on, though! His father was James bloody Potter!