Sanctuary of the Odd

Chapter 3: How to Troll a Princess

I was marched out in cuffs and into the open air of town. I was shoved down to the town square where the gallows were waiting for me. A crowd had gathered to watch, and they grimaced and gasped at the sight of me. Their horror soon turned to disgust as they starting booing. At least wait until I'm on the podium before bringing out the heckling? I thought. Seriously, the people in back are only wasting their breath. At least hold off until I can receive everyone's hatred evenly. Is this their first time doing this?

The guard guided me up the steps onto the gallows. A voice cried out which brought the crowd into a hush. The town herald took his place off to the side of me. He unfurled a scroll and began to read.

"Anomaly, you've been found guilty of the following:"

Ooh, I couldn't wait to hear what trumped up charges they have for me this time.

"Trespassing in human-only territory. Disturbing the peace."

Apparently saying "Hello" counted as "disturbing the peace."

"Escaping your jail cell."

Wait, you mean when I went from one jail cell to the next earlier? They must have had security cameras I guess? Still garbage, though. I huffed. It's not like a tried to escape or anything.

"Trolling a crowned Princess on the social media website, Mutter."

Clearly you haven't seen the half-baked haikus she posts on that platform. She was BEGGING to be trolled!

"And the crimes you committed as the identity 'Nameless.'"

I guess that one is on you, Dad.

"By the power granted to me by the lord of this town, I declare your life forfeit. Do you have any last words, Anomaly?"

I took a long heavy breath. I didn't need to breath to talk, but it was for dramatic effect. After all, this could be my final words, it deserved the gravity a situation like that called for.

"GG," I said, my words carrying over the onlookers.

The herald paused dumbfounded for a second before turning to the guard and nodding. The guard stepped towards me and laid a noose around my neck. It was good quality rope. I wonder who their supplier is? I'm kidding of course, obviously they conjured it.

A man in a dark hood steps out from the far back corner of the platform and grasps the lever next to my feet. With one strong pull, the trap door below me gives way and I fall. The noose tightens around my neck. If I had a spine, the force of it all would have broken my neck and I'd be dead. Yeah, that's only if I had a spine, or needed to breath.

Instead, the rope failed to grab a hold of my neck and got caught at the base of my head. Then, eventually even my head started to squeeze it's way through it's hold and I slipped out, plopping hard on the ground below me. I got back on my legs and dusted myself off as the crowd looked on in utter horror.

I was ushered back to my jail cell. As soon as Raina saw me, she ran over to me.

"You're back?!" Raina said, she nearly choked out her words. "You're okay!"

Was she worried about me? I thought. What a genuinely nice person! I wish she would save her concern for someone more worthy of it though...

"For the most part. I have a bit of a crick in my neck." I said, rubbing my nape with my arm. This earned me a laugh from Raina. Some of the other girls around us also joined in. Nothing like a bit of gallows humor to liven the mood!