Playful Enemies-Kyman

Part 7: Eric Meets His Dad+Half Brother

Eric's Pov:
The longer me and Kenny take care of Stan and Kyle, suddenly my mom gets a phone call from my mystery dad, Jack.

Liane: Yes??
Jack: Hey... I'm going to visit you today.
Liane: But... We broke up...
Jack: No, no. I figured now is the time Eric knows who his father is...
Liane: Will he be okay with it??
Jack: He's 10, Liane. He should be able to... I should let you know, though... He has a... HALF brother now...
Liane: WHAT?!?! You had a kid with another woman?!?!
I also gasped, shocked.
A half brother?!?!
All the boys stare at me, shocked.
Stan: Dude!! You didn't tell us you had a half brother!!
Kyle: What happened to your father??
Eric: He cheated on my mom with another bitch. Also, I didn't know.
Stan: Damn!! So we get to meet another Cartman today?!?!
Eric: I... I guess so.
Liane: Eric's kinda... Taking care of some friends right now...
Jack: Oh... But he needs to meet his half brother...
Liane: Eric... Do you want to meet your half brother today??
She says, sighing.
Eric: Fine... I guess so...
Liane: Okay... Will you be okay??
Eric: NO. I WANTED TO BE THE ONLY CHILD.
Liane: Eric... You are...
Eric: NO I'M NOT I'VE GOT A HALF BROTHER!!
Liane: He's not even my kid... Not really your blood.
Eric: DAMN IT, MOM!!

Later.
The door bell rings.
Mom comes to get it, and two red heads come in.
My dad, and my half brother.
I gasped, shocked.
Eric: REDHEADS!! AHHHH!!
Kyle scoffs, giggling.
Kyle: HAHA!!
Eric: N-NO!! I CAN'T BE RELATED TO REDHEADS!! WHAT THE FUCK, MOM!!
Mom looks down, sad.
Liane: Sorry, Eric...
Scott: Hi... I heard you were my half brother... I'm Scott...
I stared at him, frowning.
Eric: Really?!?! You?!?!

Scott's Pov:
I frowned as I stared at him, shocked how fat he was.
I was nervous.
I scratched my neck nervously.
Scott: Umm... I know you're not very... FOND of the idea of me existing... But it just kinda... HAPPENED. I was... An accident.
Eric: YOUR DAD CHEATED ON MY MOM!! ASSHOLE!!
Jack: I'm sorry...
Eric: NO!! YOU CAN'T BE SORRY!! I WON'T ACCEPT IT!! YOU HAD MY MOM CRYING FOR WEEKS!! I WAS ONLY SIX!! FUCK YOU!!

Jack's Pov:
I sighed as I looked down sadly, frowning.
I glanced over at Liane, worried.
Jack: Is this true, Liane?
She nods, sighing, looking down, sad.
I sigh.
Fuck...
Jack: Ugh... I should've known...
Liane: You should've known that your new bitch is a slut.
Jack: I-
Scott: Oh, god... Please help me...
He says, covering his eyes.

Kyle: DUDE, THAT'S WICKED!! YOUR DAD IS A REDHEAD!!
I frowned as I glanced over at his "friend", confused.
Jack: You are, too??
Kyle: HELL YEAH I AM!!
Eric: AYE!! NO GETTING ALONG WITH MY "DAD"!!
Kyle: Dude, I have to!!
Jack: Who is he...
Eric: Umm... He's my... BULLY.
Jack: Then why do you hang out with him if he's your bully?!?!
Eric: BECAUSE I HAVE TO.
Kyle: DUDE!!
Eric: AYE!! YOU CALL ME FATASS ALL THE TIME, YOU STUPID JEW!! FUCK YOU!!
Kyle: HEY!!
Scott: Is it just me, or do I sense some tension between them??
He said, frowning.
I nodded, sighing.
Jack: Yeah, they do...
I said, whispering back.
Jack: Umm... Boys... Are you two... Uhh...
Eric: NO!! DON'T EVEN ASK!! HE'S THE GAY FAGGOT!! IF HE DIDN'T EXIST I WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN!!
Kyle: HEY!! DICKHEAD!!
Scott: So you guys are exes??
Eric: ON MY ASS YES. And HE'LL NEVER BE WITH ME AGAIN.

Scott's Pov:
I liked my half brothers attitude.
It was savage.
Like me.
I giggled, laughing.
Eric: AYE!! WHAT'RE YOU LAUGHING AT, RED HEAD!!
Scott: Nothing... You just kinda... Act like me... HAHAHAHAH.
Eric: AYE!!
Stan: Dude!! That's cool!! You have a brother!! Who acts like you!!
Eric: I don't give a fuck, STAN!!
Scott: Hey, it's okay. You don't have to like me now, but you will eventually. I swear I'm not THAT BAD of a person... And I totally get that you don't like my dad. He DID do something wrong...
Eric: SEE THAT, ASSHOLE!! EVEN YOUR SON DOESN'T LIKE YOU!!
My dad sighs, frowning, looking down sadly.
Jack: Is there ANY way I can make it up to you, Liane...
Liane: NO. The only thing you could do is breakup with your BITCH.
Jack: But... I can't-
Liane: SEE. YOU CAN'T. You don't understand how financially unstable you made us when you left with all the money!!
Jack: ...
I whispered to Eric.
Scott: So who are they?
Eric: That's Kenny, that's Kyle. You already know Stan now. Stan and Kyle are jerks. Kenny's my only best friend.
Scott: Oh, jeez... Sounds like a toxic friend group... Huh...
He nods, sighing.
Eric: You bet.
Scott: So how did those two end up like that??
Eric: Oh. Me and Kenny set up traps because we overheard that they were gonna come to my house at night to spray my hair red in my sleep and they fell for it and fell off a whole fucking ladder. Now we have to take care of them like babies.
Scott: Wow... I love planning people. Especially my dad... But he gets mad, and grounds me...
Eric: Damn...Must be harsh. My mom was on our side when Stan's dad told us we had to do this.
Scott: Jeez... That must be shit. I hate taking care of people... Say, would you wanna prank them again??
Eric: No!! Then we'd get in more trouble with his parents!!
Scott: What happened to Kyle's??
Eric: They abandoned him because they're Jew and hate gays.
Scott: Damn... That's tough. So what are you? Gay? Bi?
Eric: Bi. I once had a thing for a girl.
Scott: Oh. I'm full on gay. I mean, of course I am. My name is Scott...
Eric: Not surprised, bitch. Every Scott I've heard of is gay.
I laughed.
Scott: And Irish? Well, I'm not. I'm white.
Eric: So then why is your name Scott?
Scott: Because my dad figured it matched the "redhead" aesthetic. Since most Scott's are also always redheads.
Eric: What hair color is your mom.
Scott: Blonde.
Eric: EWWWW!! BLONDE!!
Scott: I know right?!?! It's so STUPID!!
Kenny: HEY!! I'M BLONDE!!
Scott: Oh... Show me.
He takes off his hoodie, grumbling angrily.
I gasp, shocked.
Scott: AHHH BLONDE!!
Kenny: RUDE!!
He blows raspberry at me.
I blow raspberry back, flipping him off.
He gasps, shocked.
Eric laughs, clapping.
Eric: HAHAHAHHA. YES. RIP ON THE BLONDES!!
Liane: Wow... They're literally the same people...

Kenny's Pov:
I growled, mad.
I flipped him off back.
Kyle and Stan pull me back.
Stan: Dude!! Don't fight him!!
Kenny: HE FLIPPED ME OFF!!
Scott: YOU FLIPPED ME OFF BACK!!
Kenny: STUPID REDHEAD!!
Scott: STUPID BLONDE!!
Eric: AYE!! BOTH REDHEADS AND BLONDES ARE STUPID, OKAY?!?!
We both stared at eachother, mad.
I growled.
Kenny: Fuck off!!
Scott: Nah uh!! Make me!! You're just jealous that someone similar to Eric came in and could replace you!! I bet you're poor as HELL with that outfit!!
I gasped, shocked.
Kenny: HEY!! WHAT'S WITH YOU GUYS RIPPING ON ME BEING POOR?!?!
Eric: BECAUSE YOU ARE.
Kenny: You aren't actually gonna replace me, are you?!?!
Eric: HELL NO!! You're my best friend, and he's a result from my dad who fucking CHEATED ON MY MOM.
Kenny: GOOD!! You better fucking not or I'm actually gonna fight him!!
Eric: Aww... Kenny...
He hugs me with his big, fat arms.
I blush, looking down.
Eric: It's great knowing that someone cares about me so much to want to fight somebody for me...
Kyle: Oh, PLEASE. Don't satisfy his ego!!

Eric's Pov:
I scoff.
Eric: Oh please. I bet your dick is bigger than my ego.
Kyle: So you admit you're selfish.
Eric: ON MY ASS.
Stan: Oh, please. Can you guys just make up already?? I'm sick of you guys fighting... It's depressing as fuck!!
Kyle: Not if he apologizes first!!
Eric: Nah uh!! You do it first!!
Kyle sighs.
Kyle: Fine. I'm sorry. Fat a-
Stan: Dude!! That's not proper!!
Kyle: I mean- Horizontally wide- Built like a one x one Lego block- Built like he has a fucking GRAVITATIONAL PULL- BUILT LIKE A WHOLE FUCKING SOLAR SYSTEM-
Stan: DUDE!!
Kyle: I mean-
Eric: AYE!!
Stan: DUDE, THAT'S NOT COOL!! YOU JUST CALLED HIM BY EVERY INSULT EVERYONE'S GIVEN CASE OH!!
Kyle: KFC LOVING-
Eric: Shut the fuck up KAHL. NO ONE ASKED FOR YOUR INPUT.
Kyle: I-
Kenny: DAMN!!
Kyle: You fucking fat ass BITCH- Like I said- You fat, UGLY- Bro is BUILT LIKE A FATASS CHICKEN.
Stan: DUDE!! Did you just use the insult that one girl on TikTok said to that guy named Gio?
Kyle: Mhm.
Eric: Grrr... l
Kyle: So I said- And I bet yo so damn heavy when you go to Wingstop and they tell you that's what the title is for BITCH- Cause they want you to STOP EATING THEIR FOOD LIKE GOD DAMN!! Fucking boom boom when you walk- Motherfucker I said-

Kenny's Pov:
It's hard for me to hold in my laugh anymore.
I start snorting, but Eric is my boyfriend so I have to act like I'm offended.
I sit there, holding my nose and covering my mouth, laughing.
Eric slaps me in the dick.
I moan.
Kenny: AYE!! OWW!!
Eric: QUIT LAUGHING!!
Kenny: I'M SORRY!! I JUST COULDN'T HELP IT!! GOD DAMN HE'S FUNNY!! Ow!! Quit hitting my dick!!
Eric: By the way, it feels big.
I blushed, embarrassed.
His time, Kyle laughs.
I frown, glaring at him.

Kyle's Pov:
Eric: AT LEAST I'M NOT DIABETIC!! HOW ARE YOU SKINNY AND DIABETIC, BITCH?!?!
I gasp, shocked and offended.
The way the tables turned.
Kyle: HOW DARE YOU!!
Eric: YEAH. Where's your insulin needle at, bitch?!?!
Kyle: I- HEY!!
Just then, I slapped him, and we started fighting again.
Just then, his cat, Mr. Kitty, meows, and bites me, scratching me in the leg.
I scream, pained.
Kyle: AHHH!! BITCH, WHAT THE FUCK?!?!
Eric: HAH!! Good Mr. Kitty!!
He says, petting him.
He purrs.
I frown, annoyed.
Just then, I wrestle him to the ground, and we accidentally kiss.
Eric. EW!! A JEW KISSED MEEEE!! AHHHHH!!
He said, screaming as he ran, in circles, freaking out.
I stared at him, blinking, blushing.
Kyle: What the fuck...

Liane: Eric, calm down... Hey... Sorry... He has adhd...
I frowned.
Kyle: I can tell.

Eric's Pov:
Everytime I get kissed by a Jew, I feel disgusted.
Like something nasty just came in my mouth.
I ran to my room to get mouth wash, and came back, sighing.
Eric: PHEW.
Kyle: DUDE!!
I stared at him, blushing.
What the fuck just happened.
Everytime we kiss, it's like destiny forces us to kiss.
I will forever hate you, Kahl.
I thought, annoyed.