Heidi's Pov:
I try to call Eric, using the phone number Stan gave me.
Eric picks up, and sighs, groaning.
Eric: Ugh, WHATTT...
Heidi: I just wanted to see what you were doing...
Eric: Whatever I'm doing is none of your business, now leave me alone, Heidi. I DON'T LIKE YOU.
He hangs up.
I blink, looking down sadly.
Eric's Pov:
I sigh, rolling my eyes as I aggressively pushed the hang up button.
Stan stares at me, shocked.
Stan: Dude!! That was mean!!
Eric: I DON'T LIKE HER, OKAY, STAN?!?! Forget it. Fuck you.
Stan: I- But, dude!! She's so nice!!
Eric: I don't give a damn. You know what, I mind as well be gay. I hate girls. Ugh...
Kyle: ...
Kenny: You don't want kids in the future?
I sighed, rolling my eyes as I stared at him, annoyed.
Eric: No, Kenny. I don't want no god damn kids. They're assholes. Little boogers who never leave you alone. Always begging for attention. Always crying like babies. Now, can we just get this probe out of my ass?!?! It's starting to itch...
Kyle: Dude!! They're not even that bad!! My little brother Ike didn't...
Eric: Shut the fuck up, Kahl. So you're telling me you'd be willing to take care of assholes?
Kyle: I already kinda do.
He says, scoffing.
I glare at him, annoyed.
Eric: AYE!!
Kyle: It's the truth, dude- You can't even handle one punch. See?
He punches me gently in the arm, and I start crying.
Eric: WAHHHHH!!! MEMMMM!! MEMMMMM!!
Kyle's Pov:
I scoffed, rolling my eyes as I stared at him, annoyed.
Eric's mom frowns at me.
Liane: Quit hurting him, Kyle... Be nice... Apologize...
Kyle: But I barely even punched him!! He's so weak...
Eric: WAHHHHHH!!
Kyle: Oh shut up, Cartman!! You're just faking to get everyone's attention!! Just like a kid!!
Eric: WAHHHHHHHHH!!
Kenny grumbles, covering his ears.
I sigh.
Kyle: You big, FAT BABY.
Eric: WAHHHHHHH KYLE HURT MY FEEWINGSSS!! WAHHHH!!
Liane: Kyle...
I sighed, rolling my eyes, annoyed as I sarcastically hugged him.
Kyle: There, there... I'm sorry, you fat bastard.
Liane glares at me.
I sighed, rolling my eyes again.
Kyle: I mean, BIG BONED...
Eric smiles.
Kyle: AHA!! I KNEW IT!! You were manipulating this whole time!!
Eric: Oh, REALLY?!?!
He shows his actually red eyes.
I frowned.
Shit.
Stan: Dude!!
Kyle: Haven't you learned anything from karate class...
Eric: Fuck you, Kahl.
Later.
The tv: MORE PEOPLE KILLED IN SOUTH PARK DUE TO ALIEN ABDUCTIONS!!
We're all sitting near the tv, watching the news.
Stan: Dude, you have to fart, Eric. We need to get that thing out of you...
Eric: You can't force me to fucking fart!!
Stan: Dude, if you don't, we're ALL gonna die.
Eric: Fuck you, Stan!!
Just then, he farts, and I scream as it burns my face, I run around frantically, scared.
The others instantly pull when the probe comes out.
Kyle: PULL!!
I notice what's happening, and I quickly join in despite my burnt face.
Ew, that was nasty...
Stan: Ew... That fart made me wanna throw up...
Eric: Pussy.
Stan: You're disgusting, Cartman!!
Eric: Weren't you the one who asked me to fart, asshole??
Kyle: At least we're getting it out...
He said, sighing.
Just then, the probe comes out, and we all fall backwards, panting.
The aliens come back, frowning.
The alien: Damn it. You humans have won.
Kyle: Damn right we did. Now get the hell out of our planet, idiots!!
They all nod, and sigh, going back to their ufo.
They leave, and we all cheer.
Kenny: WOOHOO!!
He mumbles through his hoodie, raising his arms up excitedly.
The news: This just in, the probe has been destroyed. Out of victim, Eric Cartman's ass. Three boys including his mom, have saved him from being controlled by aliens.
There's tv cameras outside and cars.
Eric's mom quickly locks the door, panting.
Liane: NO!! NO LIVE TV!! FUCK!!
A cameraman: CAN WE PLEASE INTERVIEW ERIC CARTMAN!!
Liane: NO!! GO AWAY!!
A police officer: YOU GUYS!! THIS IS INVASION OF THEIR PROPERTY!! LEAVE!!
The cameramen: AWWW...
Eric's mom sighs, wiping her face.
Liane: Phew... I don't think I want my son becoming famous because of a probe up his ass...
Eric giggles.
I slap him.
YOU ARE READING
Playful Enemies-Kyman
FanfictionKyle and Eric are two enemies who are also friends. Whenever Kyle gets in a fight with Eric and hurts him, watching Eric cry makes him feel sad.
