Matt's POV
We was filming a video while on tour because Nick said that it would be good for the fans. I didn't mind but this kid (Nick) was talking and talking he physically wouldn't shut up,Malcom stayed on the tour bus not wanting to be in videos which is understandable.
I could see Chris was getting pissed off with nicks voice ringing through our ears everything fucking second. "OMG AND THEN-" he shouted "NICK CAN YOU ACTUALLY SHUT THE FUCK UP?! LIKE YOUR TALKING AND TALKING BUT GUESS WHAT NO ONES FUCKING LISTENING! ME AND CHRIS ARE SICK OF HEAR YOUR ANNOYING ASS VOICE" I shouted as I watched nicks smile disappeared.
I didn't care as long as he stopped talking for fucks sake. We wrapped up the video and drove back to the tour bus as me and Chris just had our own conversation on the way. Once I parked Nick got out and me and Chris drove away. I couldn't deal with him so his boyfriend can.
Nicks POV
It's okay Malcom will listen to me! I ran into the tour bus and saw him sitting there on his phone. "Malcommmm!" I said hugging him but he pushed me off him "I don't want to listen to your stupid problems. It's pissing me off. I'm not meant To deal with all your problems" he said leaving.
I Just stood there frozen. That's okay. All I need to do is stop talking and stop telling people what's on my mind. "Nick?" Nate said as he stood there "Nate...just ignore that he's just in a mood haha" I said,Nate just walked over to me and hugged me. I tried so hard to not cry but my eyes were filling up with tears.
"I'm Nate don't worry" I said smiling "Alright...if you do need someone to tell your problems to then just come to me okay?" He said I nodded and started editing. It was when I was editing I kinda just looked at myself and my head just filled with voices.
I didn't even notice Matt and Chris on the other side of the table. "Here" Chris said putting a plate of food next to me,I looked at it mumbled a thank you then continued editing. "Fucking eat it your idiot?! Your always so quick to eat so what the fuck is wrong with you today?" Matt said,I started eating and once I finished I walked into the bathroom and turned on the tap.
I forced my fingers down my throat as I forced myself to throw up. I made sure i got every little piece out of my stomach. I flushed the toilet and washed my hands before walking out only to see Malcom standing there in horror. "Did you make yourself throw up?" He asked grabbing my shoulders roughly "Y-your h-hurting m-me..." I said trying to get out of his grip.
"Tell me." He said now pushing me against the wall as his hands were still firmly on my shoulders laced with anger "N-no I-I'm j-Just a l-little sick..." I said looking down but the tears slipped. I saw Matt and Chris unbothered by this so it couldn't have been that bad. "Nick lay down or something" he said wiping the tears from my eyes.
"Fucking crybaby" Matt said as I sat back down,I wanted to leave but I just edited the video I didn't know what I was doing. "Nick we're going to bed you do whatever the fuck you want because honestly I'm getting annoyed with you" Chris said as him and Matt went to bed.
I laid my head on the table as my hands started shaking,I don't know why but Malcom came next to me and held my hand. I moved my hand out of his grip I didn't want the help he said he didn't need me telling my problems so I'm trying to avoid it. "Nick what the fuck?" He asked standing up as he looked at me "w-what...?" I said "I'm trying to fucking help you and your just being selfish?!" He raised his voice.
"S-sorry...you s-said-" he just cut me off "You know what don't fucking talk to me if you don't want my help then you won't have it because at this point Matt and Chris were right about you. Your fucking useless your not affectionate and you care so much about yourself" he said walking away. I just put my head on the table as I started editing again,my eyes were begging to shut but my brain wouldn't shut up.
It was just screaming at me. I took a few pills that I had hidden from Matt and Chris then just went back to editing. It was 2am and I heard Matt get up,he walked to the sink to get some water looking at me blinking. "Sleep" he muttered walking by,I shook my head as he dragged himself back to bed.
I had a ton of energy so I wasted it all on editing the video which was done by 4am it only took 4 hours that's not that bad. I fell asleep on the table only for a bit before being woken up by Matt,He looked upset. "Can I talk to you...?" He said fidgeting with his fingers "of course" I said smiling as he at next to me.
"Nick I keep having nightmares I'm scared...why do I keep having them? I wake up in the middle of night and I start panicking I don't want to deal with this..." he said "Sweetheart...listen next time that happens come in here I'll be awake anyways okay?" I told him embracing him in a hug.
Matt fell asleep on my shoulder and I picked him up laying him next to Chris,I took a picture of them both as they slept peacefully. I brought my knees up to my chest as I plugged my headphones in and zoned out. "Nick." Malcom said I threw my headphones off and just looked at him.
He mumbled something that I couldn't make out considering I was extremely tired but I didn't care. My stomach started churning and I ran to the bathroom as I puked everywhere,Malcom was standing right behind me and just looked disappointed. "I'm okay" I said smiling as I washed my hands.
"Nick what the fuck? Are you overworking again?" Malcom asked "no! It's just a stomach bug" I said he just rolled his eyes "I don't care" he muttered walking past. I held my chest as it started hurting but I ignored it,I walked out the bathroom and slumped down on the chair.
"Nick what the fuck is going on with you" Chris said "Nothing" I muttered. "OH FUCK YOU NICK HONESTLY PLEASE JUST FUCKING KILL YOURSELF FOR ALL I CARE. WE TRY AND UNDERSTAND YOU BUT YOU NEVER WANT OUR HELP." Chris shouted.
I just stayed quiet and walked away. I left the tour bus and just stood against it. "OMG YOUR NICK STURNIOLO RIGHT?!" Someone shouted running towards me "yeah" I replied. "May I please have a picture Omg I love you so much!" She said snapping a photo.
"Omg thank you so much I love your videos so fucking much!" She said as she started crying "Can I hug you? Your crying and I feel so bad" I bad" I forced a laugh "Omg..." she said sobbing into me. "Listen don't cry I promise everything will be okay I love you so much. Make sure to keep your head up" I said to her as she smiled then walked away.
I walked back in and just sighed as I sat down. "Sweetheart...?" I heard someone say,I knew I was Malcom but I was actually to tired for this. "Hmm" I said looking at my hands "Nick I-I know what your doing...please stop listen I'm sorry for everything I said I want you to come to me about your problems I've seen the way Matt and Chris talk to you I see you at early hours in the morning editing" Malcom said holding my hands.
"It's nothing i swear" I said but he knew I was lying. "Nick please..." he said as his eyes filled with tears "Malcom leave him he ain't gonna talk because he's a fucking attention seeker and wants people to worry" Matt said. "Don't..." I muttered as Malcom was about to get up. "Nick fucking let me go now." He stated,I let go and he just went over to Matt.
"Okay so 1. Your brother is fucking trying 2 he's forcing himself to throw up Everytime he eats 3 he's fucking exhausted 4 he's taking pills because he's to scared to go to sleep. You said some shit that made HIM like this so I'm not saying this is all your fault I said some shit but I said sorry whereas you. He's your brother not your toy you can abuse." Malcom said.
"Nick..." Matt said sitting next to me and just wrapping his arms around me. "I-it's fine..." I said shocked at everything Malcom just said,Chris came in and had tears running down his face. "Sweetheart?" I said looking at him "You hurt yourself...for us?" He said "Chris...I-I didn't mean to...I-I didn't know what I was doing I-I thought it would help but I-I don't know..." I said my voice shaking.
"Nick...calm down it's okay we'll help you. We're sorry for everything we said. We didn't mean it we didn't even know what we were doing and the fact that we didn't notice I just feel so shit about it"Chris spoke,I hugged him. "Don't worry it's okay I'll be fine soon" I said but Malcom just picked me up and cuddled me.
Later that night,we all went out and everything that happened was just
Forgotten.
