HELLUVA BØSS: I.M.P.'s Human Assassin (Loona Lovelorn x Male Human Reader)

Pilot

After a while, Blitzø is walking in front a whiteboard on the wall as he lectures his employees.

Blitzø: Alright. Now, I know business has been... a bit slow lately, yes. It's no one's fault, okay? I'm not naming any names here... *looks at Moxxie* Moxxie.

Moxxie gives him an incredulous look in response.

Blitzø: Now, does anyone have... any bright ideas on how we can get business drummin' up again?

Millie: *eyes sparkling* What about a car wash?

Blitzø: This is Hell, Millie. No one cares about cars being clean here, okay?

Y/N: *raises hand*

Blitzø: Heh. N/N, this isn't a preschool or anything. Just say what's on your mind.

Y/N: I just don't want to be rude. Anyway, what about printing up posters around the city that states our business?

Blitzø: Hmm... That does sound like a good idea, N/N, but... *thinks for a second* Wh- Ooh! What about a billboard?

He waves his hands with an enthusiastic flair as sparkles fly out.

Moxxie: *rolls eyes* We can't afford a billboard, sir.

Blitzø: *wraps his arm over Moxxie's shoulder* Helpful, Moxxie. Really glad you're in the room right now. *pushes Moxxie away* Have you guys forgotten what service we provide?

Blitzø turns on a TV that shows the I.M.P. crew brutally murdering people from the overworld as they are paid to do. Blitzø whacks a man in the face with a mallet, Moxxie is blown away firing a shotgun through the mouth of a man tied to a chair, Loona swings a man back and forth in her mouth, and Millie decapitates someone with a harpoon and laughs. Then, it zooms out to everyone watching the TV, with Loona, Millie, Y/N, and Blitzø eating popcorn.

Blitzø: Ahh, those were the good times.

Y/N: You guys are so sick. I-In a good way, I mean. But, I vote Loona's kill better.

Loona: *blushes slightly*

Millie: Oh? And why's that?

Y/N: Well... When I was a kid, I've always had a thing for canine-like creatures because they always have the best animal instincts and kills. Sometimes... I even dream of being one.

Millie: Good to hear.

Y/N: *smiles softly* ...

Loona: *smiles softly* Thanks.

Moxxie: I don't need any reminding, sir. Considering you blew most of our salaries on an obnoxious TV ad last week. One that you then additionally paid to have run for a full three hours on a channel... nobody watches.

Blitzø: Uh, hey. Excuse me? What's "obnoxious" about a super-fun jingle, alright? It's a fun distraction when an advertisement's spittin' bullshit!

Millie: People love musicals, sir.

Y/N: Yeah. I've heard from some people saying that music is the universal language. Hell, it can even be used to express your love to someone.

Blitzø: Exactly, Millie and Y/N! And we're basically doin' a musical. *does jazz hands* Are you gonna crush my musical theatre dreams like my dad did?

Moxxie: Sir-

Blitzø: 'Cause, right now? All I see is just my dad's asshole talking to me! Crushing my dreams of being who I truly am inside.

Millie: Are you tryin' to crush his dreams, Moxxie?

Moxxie: I- What?

Millie: *flirtatiously* I thought I knew you.