Sometimes I feel like dying,
but not really.
Sometimes, when I drive down the highway, I think about driving into oncoming traffic,
but not really.
Sometimes, when I'm in the pool, I wonder what it would be like if I never came up for air.
But not really.
Sometimes I feel like you might be mine again one day.
Sometimes, I think
maybe I did deserve it.
Sometimes I think that maybe you didn't mean to,
maybe you really didn't understand what you were doing,
but not really.
The truth is, I'm scared of dying.
I'm scared to leave my family, my friends, the people who actually care about me behind.
The truth is, I don't want you to be mine again.
The truth is, I didn't deserve any of it.
The truth is, we weren't meant to be.
Sometimes, I regret doing what I did for you.
Sometimes, I regret you.
But the truth is, it helped me find myself again.
The truth is, losing you taught me how to love myself.
