A Nightmare's Fate

Life Can Change

Chapter Thirteen: Life Can Change

Walking down the stairs, feeling light headed and nauseated. I'm in the same thing I wore to my date yesterday, but it wasn't a date. It was a conversation with Skylar. The news he gave me was heavy. But I guess I deserve it. I deserve to feel this hallow, to be ditched, to be hated by everyone I know. Maybe there is no purpose to life for me anymore.

            My feet touch the tiles, cold encircles the soles and my toes. I quiver for a moment and shrug it off. I walk into the kitchen, just to get some orange juice in the fridge. Before I open the door to it, I notice a note. It's a plain, white paper with blue lines going across from it. It's torn apart, like someone ripped it without being careful, as it hangs from a banana magnet on the fridge door. The sloppy handwriting makes it seem like the person was angry.

            Dear Raven,

            I don't know how to explain this to you. I'm sorry. We're all sorry. For our actions and our assumptions. I came here to tell you that, but when you passed out drunk, I second guessed my visit. I can't face you. Not after what we've been through. You know, you're one of my friends, but our differences aren't making our friendship any stronger. I think you can feel better if you stop acting like the way you do and actually try to recover. Kenton was my best friend and with him gone, I can't go on. But we all can do this together if we try. Maybe someday we can recover from the death and raise our hope higher instead of bringing all of us down to doubt. Periwinkle and Jessie are just in the state of mind where they blame everyone for everything, and they are mean, but you should give them a try. Periwinkle and Jessie are still in grief and are trying to recover, but what they're doing is different from what you're going through. I hope you get better. I hope we all do.

            Sincerely,

            Freddy.

            I step backward, holding the paper up to my chest. I hit the nearest wall and sink to the floor. I can hear my heart thump in my ears. The thudding keeps steady at a rhythm, but it won't stop. It's like hearing a drum beat right in front of my face in the same pattern as a heart beats. I put my palms over my ears and scream while sobs start trickling down my face.

            Freddy has been a good friend to me for many years. He's the kind to hold me tight when no one else would hug me. The kind where he'll cry with me so I won't have to cry alone. When I'll be empty, he's there to fill the spaces. Without him, there would be no hope for me anymore. But he's the one for me to lean on, he's like a big brother to me. Despite our differences that we have, I still love him.

            I pick my head up and stand, holding the now crumbled piece of paper. I'm going to try my best to recover.

*~*~*~*~*

Maybe I can start all over. I can find a new way to live free and happy. Maybe someday, I can figure my life out.

            It's a beautiful day. Especially out here at Central Park. I walk down the sidewalk and smile at all the cute children and people around me.

            Weather is so confusing sometimes. It’s beautiful one day and then raining the next, then it's snowing. Then it's great. I don't understand winter weather in New York, I don't really think anyone does either.

            A small hot chocolate stand with an umbrella is down the sidewalk. I lick my bottom lip and bite it, trying to picture the sweet burning taste of hot cocoa going down my throat; the warm feeling, the refreshing taste, it all seems like a dream. I pace my way to the stand and wait my turn. "What will it be, ma'am?" the man questions, wearing a grin. He wears a brown hat that says "TOOTI'S HOT CHOCOLATE."