Kissing In Cars

20

"So this is your house." I say as Tony and I make our way through his house.

Tony texted me last night inviting me over today just so we could hangout. He's been taking care of his mom a lot lately and has just needed a break from everything, so he asked me to come ease his world a little with my presence.

I give a low whistle as I take in the living room. It's different from what I expected, but in a good way. There's a ton of art on the walls, some of it memorabilia from his tours, there's books, plants, antique lamps, everything. He has a gorgeous, giant Persian rug that stretches out to almost the full room with a ginormous sectional couch bordering it. So far it's my favourite room of the whole house.

"I like to live modestly." he says with a casual shrug.

"It's gorgeous." I tell him. "I'm jealous."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Well fell free to take anything you like." he says. His tone implies he's joking but I know if I asked for anything he would give it to me with a second thought.

I roll my eyes at him then urge him to show me the rest of the house. We wander through the first floor if the house, going into the kitchen, the solarium, the bathroom. We head upstairs where he shows me his spare room, his other bathroom, which I loved. There's a full walk-in black shower that goes beautifully with his green walls and black and white tile flooring. 

After I finally manage to I pry myself away from Tony's gorgeous bathroom, we head to the direction of the only room left unseen - his bedroom.

"You sure its safe in there?" I joke to him as we walk down the hallway to his room. There are so many reasons I shouldn't be going into his room, and the smile he gives me when I make that comment is reason number one.

 There are some things in here which he had before, like the cactus that his mom gave him one birthday, and the tapered candles he got years ago at a thrift store that he swore he had a use for. Clearly he hasn't found that use yet.

There's a lot of new, more "grown Tony" things too, like he actually has a matching bed set now, and more than just one pillow on his bed. He also has a ginormous wooden dresser which I really want to take with me, but I think he would notice. Absentmindedly I walk over to his bed side table, glancing around at what he has on it. He has an Apple watch there, his phone charger, a Rubix cube and some cologne amongst other little things. I pick up the cologne and smell it as I continue to look around. I love how it smells like him. I give it one last smell before putting it down.

I begin to turn away when a piece of light blue fabric catches my eye. Delicately I reach for it, picking it up to study it. It's a threaded bracelet I made Tony when we first started dating. I was into bracelet making for a bit always making friends and families new bracelets all kinds of materials. For this one I used turquoise and white yarn to make him a bracelet, adding in some black to put our initials on it. Over the years the colours have faded a little, the white is now more of an off-white almost beige-ish colour. It's clear that this bracelet has seen better days, but the fact that he still has it is something in and of itself. 

"I wear it on every tour." Tony says from behind me, his voice startling me.

I was so focused in on the bracelet that I didn't even hear him come up behind me. I stroke the bracelet a little more, my mind now thrown into old memories of him and I. The day I gave him that bracelet he had just signed on with his first record producer. I can still remember how excited he was. When he got back that night he kept telling me over and over everything that happened during the meeting and giving me the details of the first tour they were talking about doing.  I wanted to give him something to always carry with him whenever things got tough during that next chapter of his life. So many memories attached to such a little thing.

"I can't believe you still have it." I mumble, still holding it in my hands.

"I could never throw it away."

"You wear it every tour?"

"Every single one."

I place it back where I found it, my heart now wrenching from feelings as it typically does with Tony. We have so much history together and a lot of it is tied to the heartbreak that I felt.

"I'd take it all back." Tony says. I turn around and look at him, confused and thinking maybe I misheard him.

"What?"

"I'd take it all back, Ava." he says, my name heavy in his mouth. "The fame, the money, the music. I'd take it all back if it meant I could have you."

I shake my head in disbelief. "You wouldn't."

"I would." he says solemnly. "I'd take it back in a second! Don't you get it? None of it, I mean it, none of it means anything without you."

"Stop it, Tony." I say brushing him off.

"I need you to know this." he says desperately.

"I don't want to know it."

"Yes you do!" he says loudly. "I know you feel the same way I do. I know you miss me just as much as I've missed you all these years."

"Then why'd you do it?" I ask him. I don't have to specify what I'm talking about, he knows right away.

"I was young and dumb. I thought because I was getting fame that I wanted everything with it and I didn't want to make you wait around for me to be ready to settle down. I was selfish." he says. "But I've regretted that decision every single fucking day."

"You didn't even call me." I say to him, my voice low and sad. "Not once."

"I didn't think you'd answer." he admits. "I thought you were better off without me, and you probably are, Ava, but I needed the chance to tell you all this even if its useless."

"Tony..."

"I've never stopped loving you." he whispers to me, his face now mere inches away from mine. "I never let you go."

The kiss comes faster than I expect it to. I still see it coming, but I don't move away from it. I actually lean into it, accepting his lips hungrily against mine. His lips are warm and so, so soft as they press hard against mine. Tony's hands grab at my body desperately as if he's worried that if he doesn't feel every inch of my body that he'll forget it completely.

Before not too long Tony is guiding me backwards until my legs hit the bed. Without needing any further convincing, I let myself fall back onto the bed. I manage to just scoot back a little and get both legs on the bed before Tony is on top of me, his lips right back on mine, his hands exploring more of my body. I can't get enough of him either, my hands are pulling at him to try and get him closer to me, as if that were possible. This is happening and it's happening quickly.

I push Tony off me a little making his eyes shoot open. I can see the desire burning in his almost black eyes. He stares at me, his breathing hard.

"Please don't ask me to stop." Tony says breathlessly in my ear. "I will if you ask but, fuck, you can feel how much I want this." he says, grinding against me to show me how hard he is.

I shake my head at him. Stopping isn't the problem right now, I need to get something off my chest before I lose the chance. I grab his face gently and hold it inches away from mine, staring into his eyes. "I love you too."

His lips come crashing back down onto mine, this time more desperate and passionate than before. In this moment we're not our history, we're not two strangers who reconnected, we're not even former partners. Right here and right now we're us, just Tony and Ava. Together at last.