The Life I Had To Choose (Vladimir Makarov x Reader)

Chapter 6

Hi everyone❗️
I wanted to warn you that this chapter was the hardest I've written of all my stories. The sense of desperation and loneliness hit me so hard that I had to take a break while I was writing it. I hope you can appreciate it because I put all of myself describing a situation of pure hatred, selfishness, pain and a sense of emptiness. The words addressed to the protagonist are heavy and harmful.😞
See you at the end of the chapter...

_________________________________

The next few days passed quickly, and Vladimir spent most of his time alone in the bedroom. You often saw him come out for food, but he never spoke or even glanced at you.

He was evidently still thinking about the discussion you and him had had, and was processing his emotions and thoughts.

The attack by the Task Force 141 seems to have been stopped and Vladimir has been resting these days, he didn't want to talk to anyone as if he needed to recharge his batteries.

Andrei, his closest advisor and confidant, came to you asking how Vladimir was doing because he hadn't answered any of his calls.

You assured him that Vladimir was just tired and exhausted, having seen and done a lot in the past few days. He was just recovering physically and mentally, and that he would be back to his normal self soon enough.

"Andrei, do you want to stay for dinner?"

Andrei hesitates for a moment before agreeing to stay. He knows how possessive and unpredictable his Commander can be, and he seems slightly nervous about staying so close to you without his approval first.

You immediately notice his indecision.

But he trusts your judgement, and agrees to stay in your company while Makarov recovers. The two of you sit down for dinner and make some small talk, but it is clear that Andrei's thoughts are elsewhere and he is concerned about what his Commander will think of this interaction.

"Andrei, was it so difficult to handle the Task Force attack?" you ask in a worried tone.

He seems caught off guard when you ask about the American invasion, and he looks away briefly before answering. "It was a challenging time for sure, but I think we managed it as best as we could." he says trying to remain positive and upbeat.

However, you notice a hint of fatigue and exhaustion in his voice, and a weariness in his eyes. It's clear that the past few days have taken a toll on him as well.

"I'm sorry to see you so tired you should also rest... my husband doesn't leave you much free time does he?"

Andrei looks down slightly, his expression becoming thoughtful and melancholic. "No..." he replies, his tone quiet and sad. "He doesn't allow me much time to myself. It can be... challenging at times."

"Being his second in command must be an honour but also requires many sacrifices."

He nods slowly, his expression sad and reflective. "It is an honor for sure, but yes... the sacrifice can be very steep at times. I often feel like I have little time for my own life, and I always have to put his needs before mine."

"I'm sorry... my husband can be a difficult person sometimes..." you say embarrassed.

"Yes... he is a very difficult person to deal with. And, as his most trusted advisor, he always expects me to be available 24/7 for whatever he needs."

"Is there anything I can do to help you?"

Andrei hesitates for a moment, considering what you could possibly do to help him. Finally, he shakes his head slightly with a faint smile on his face. "Thank you for offering. But there's not much you can do, or I can do for that matter. It's just the nature of the job... I have to be here for him."