The Life I Had To Choose (Vladimir Makarov x Reader)

Chapter 7

The phone conversation finally comes to an end, and Makarov hangs up his phone, only to notice that you are no longer there and that you must have moved to a different room. He pauses for a beat, and then starts to walk around to try to find you, worried that you could be crying or having some sort of breakdown.

He heads upstairs at the end of the corridor, his eyes finally fall on you as you are laying down on the sofa, your eyes closed and apparently trying to have some sort of quiet moment to yourself. All of his other worries immediately go away and walks over, sits down next to you. He reaches out and takes your hand.

Your husband lets out a long sigh, and looks at you, his eyes filled with sadness. He holds your hand silently for a few moments. "I'm sorry" he says, his voice breaking up slightly. "I didn't mean to..." he hesitates, and his voice breaks again, unable to find the right words to begin to apologize.

Makarov sees the Xanax pills on the table next to you. A veil of concern and worry forms on his face, he knows that he pushed you to the edge and you were forced to take an anti-anxiety drug to feel better.

"I want to be alone" you tell him as you move your hand away from his touch, your voice a little laboured.

He releases your hand and just sits quietly next to you, watching as the effects of the Xanax finally take hold and your speech comes out very slowly and slurred. He keeps looking over at you, worried now for your well-being and what he has done to you.

Slowly you close your eyes and let the effects of the medicine wash over you. Makarov covers you with a sheet and stays by your side the whole time. Many thoughts are flowing in his head and he makes himself comfortable on the sofa, looking up at the ceiling.

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The next day you wake up feeling tired and groggy. You stumble to the kitchen to look for something to eat, but when you hear Vladimir calling someone on the phone and yelling like he always does you decide to avoid the kitchen.

With the corner of his eye he sees you and quickly hangs up the phone and follows you.

"Where are you going?" his voice coming out a bit harsh but no longer angry and rude.

"Leave me alone... please" you say in a low voice.

"I'm sorry. I just want to talk to you..." he tells you quickly.

Your swollen, tired eyes look at him. "You are never sorry"

"Please..." he says quietly, reaching out to touch you, hoping that you won't pull away from him.

You remain completely still, without moving away. He takes your hands in his and stares at you in silence.

At the exact moment he takes your hands, his phone starts to ring again, and his expression darkens. He hesitates for a moment, closing his eyes sighing, and as he holds one of your hands with the other he pulls the phone out of his pocket and answers it.

"What is it?" he says in a cold and hasty tone.

Meanwhile, he holds your hand tightly, a silent way of letting you know that he still cares and he's not going to let go of you, even while he's on the phone talking about business.

After a minute that seemed to last forever Vladimir ends the phone call and returs all his attention back to you. His expression changed to a sad one.

He wants to talk to you about what happened yesterday, but he doesn't even know where to begin. "Look, I..." he stops, for a charismatic leader like him not to be able to find the right words makes it clear how much he is in trouble and not in control of his emotions. "I'm sorry" he says finally " I'm so sorry, I don't know what I was thinking... I just..." he trails off again, unable to find the words to say. "I was just... angry and..." he wants to say something that would explain how horrible he is feeling right now. He wants you to understand just how bad it is on his end too.