Exile || Sebastian Sallow

25 | The Tortured and The Broken Hearted

"Don't know how to be so close
to someone so distant."
—MIIA

───•~❉᯽❉~•───

25 | The Tortured and The Broken Hearted

Belle's Perspective

I couldn't have left Potions class fast enough. Every second I spent near Sebastian Sallow only twisted the knife in my heart some more. A knife I thought I pulled out of my chest long before I even kissed him.

It wasn't until after our kiss that I realized he'd held it there all this time, embedded so deep that even I couldn't get rid of it. Maybe not until I got rid of him from my head, which was impossible at this point.

Even the potion I gulped down to heal the burn of my skin from the small accident I had in class couldn't heal the invisible scar left behind.

So, after class, I headed to my dorm, changed into an all-black battle gear, took my books, shoved them into my bag, wishing I could also shove my body inside so I could hide from the world, and then left to fly away from the castle. I couldn't have it in myself to call for Sebastian.

I wanted to leave, so I did. I told no one of my whereabouts. I figured I could distract myself by doing my own investigation, not just for these mysterious murders at Hogwarts which people forget so quickly, but also for my own sake. Grinning and faking laughter outside my own walls could only accomplish so much.

I didn't use the Floo Flame because I needed to feel the frigid air on my face. I hoped it would conceal the little cuts Sebastian left behind on my skin where he mapped me out with his lips. Such quiet resentment inside of me that wanted to be free and curse out his name, but I wouldn't.

I hadn't flown in so long but it was like second nature to me at this point. I'd done it way too much in fifth year.

Still, my heart jumped to my throat at the little thought as I flew as fast as I could toward Feldcroft Region. I thought about what else had started to feel second nature to me.

Talking to Sebastian without all the snarky remarks was just starting to feel like second nature, as if that was all that had ever been between us. But we were back right where we started. He started it all but wanted to end it all.

Except he wasn't ending it all, was he?

He was fucking confusing. I didn't understand why he would gladly let the wind carry me away only for him to bring me back to the ground. Because he didn't even hesitate defending me against Ethan earlier just before Potions class started.

And the way he placed his hand on the small of my back. As if he'd destroy everything that was daring to destroy me, like he wasn't destroying me either, raining fire on a paradise I momentarily found in his arms.

For a moment there, he stole me away. But was there so much danger in my touch that he kept running away from me?

My knuckles turned white around my broom as anger rose in my veins, piercing a new kind of pain in my world. I didn't understand any of it. I wiped away any loose tears that cascaded down my cheeks before I could blink them away.

Yeah. Damn me to hell for crying. I was just a girl at the end of the day with very real feelings.

I leaned forward in my broom, chasing wind, and for something I could never have. Recklessness drove me mad. I flew faster and faster, my gaze pinpointed at the place I'd memorized going to because of him. An old habit I wanted to squash under my boot.