Where My Love Went - A Novella

Twenty-Two : PTSD

Josephine

I slowly wake to the sound of a beeping monitor. It takes my eyes a minute to adjust to the light enough to fully open them, but when I do, I realize I'm in a hospital bed. My throat feels dry and scratchy, so I sit up coughing to try and ease the irritation.

In the corner of my eye, I see Will stand abruptly and reach for my hand. "Jo."

"What happened? Why am I here again?" I look around the room and see Anna and Josh standing at the foot of the bed.

"Call one of the nurses," Will tells them, so Josh reaches for the remote with the button on it.

"Will?" I look up at him. His eyes are bloodshot and puffy around the edges. He's been crying, a lot. "What happened?" My head is throbbing with the worst headache I've ever had.

Will sits on the edge of the bed, clasping my hand with both of his. He brings our hands up and kisses my knuckles. "How do you feel?"

"Answer her question, William." Anna snaps.

My brows furrow as tension grows in the room. "Will?" I repeat hoarsely.

He sighs after glaring at his older sister. "You had another episode this morning."

"Oh.." I frown.

He gulps, his face pale. "And then you had a seizure."

"What?" I sit up straight, panic running through my veins.

"The doctors did a lot of tests when you got here. It turns out you had a Psychogenic Nonepileptic Seizure."

I furrow my brows, confused. "What is that?"

"Nonepileptic Seizures triggered by emotional stress. They think you have PTSD too." He explains softly, squeezing my hand.

"PTSD," I repeat. "How can I have PTSD? I don't know what happened to me."

Will scoots a little closer to me and offers me a weak smile. "Something triggers these episodes you keep having, something that takes you back to a traumatic experience. Because of your amnesia, you don't know what the triggers or what the trauma is, but something in your mind does and these triggers transport you back to those times. The episodes you have are likely caused by PTSD, not anxiety or anything related to that. They want you to see the therapist to get a real diagnosis though."

I try and process all the information he's telling me, but my head is swimming with all these thoughts and my head is pounding with pain.

"I know this is a lot to take in," Josh says, drawing my attention to him. "But, we're all here for you."

I offer him the best smile I can manage right now before turning to look back at Will. I lay my head back against the pillows behind me. "My head hurts," I whisper.

He reaches out with one hand to tuck a loose strand of hair behind my ear. "I'll see if we can get you something. The nurse should be in here shortly."

I nod and take a deep breath.

"Are you hungry?"

I shake my head. "Can I get a drink, though?"

Will nods. "Of course." Just then there's a knock on the door and a nurse comes in.

She greets me, telling me her name is Susan and that she'll be taking care of me on the night shift while I'm here. Will tells her I have a headache and that I need a drink, and she tells me she'll get me some water and start me on some regular-dosage acetaminophen and go from there.